Since When Is It Part of the American Dream?

 After D1 gave birth to our first grandson, and she basked in the love and support of both sets of grandparents, she hosted a friend visiting Miami with HER new baby girl. The friends parents are neighbors of ours, and D1 and the friend met in Middle School and remained friends through college. The friend was sad at the end of her visit -- returning to Chicago and going to miss her parents.

D1 was reflective, and asked "Since when is it part of the American Dream that you live far from your parents after college?" She totally understood living elsewhere during young adulthood, but when it came to crunch time in life (having babies), why wouldn't you, if you could, choose to live close to your support system? I totally agree.

It's funny -- for my parents, though they loved their grandkids on LI, staying close once they retired wasn't on the top of their list. My Mom had developed an intense aversion to Winter, and so contrived to get my Dad to retire to Delray Beach. I tagged along after my Dad contrived to get me to pick U Miami (there was a lot of contrivance back then), and later on, my older sister and her family moved to South Florida, anyway. But my younger sister left for California after a short, failed marriage, and that has been her home since the early 70s. I wonder how things may have been different if the family all stayed closer.

Wifey and I realize how lucky we are to have both Ds and their men all in the 305. Yesterday we hosted D2 and Jonathan and the enormous puppy - they had a wedding nearby in Deering Estate. D1 had forgotten about those plans, and when her plans changed, asked to get together. Nope, I said cavalierly -- we busy. I'll see your boys later in the week. And I realized I had that luxury -- if D1 was a plane ride away, I would never have missed the chance to be with them.

Other than a year at FSU, Wifey never lived far from her parents. And sure enough, when the Ds came, they were an integral part of our lives -- sometimes to my great annoyance. My Mom would help, too, though she was older and getting her to Miami was a chore -- though made easier when TriRail began. She would get a ride to the Delray station, and I or Wifey would fetch her by MIA. She LOVED the train -- she would always meet someone during the hour or so trip. One time, on Halloween, she got off the train wearing a clown mask, to the delight of the young Ds. Nice memories.

My Florida sister and brother in law moved last year to the Tampa area, to be closer to their daughter and her family. I was thrilled for them -- their grandkids are grown, but as they need more and more support, it'll be so much easier to be close by to their family.

Sometimes there's no choice. Careers might be out of town, or an adult child ends up with a partner who is close to THEIR parents, and won't come back close to live with theirs. I understand that.

But when you have the choice -- boy -- it's nice to all be in the same area.

I used to joke that I had an "evil plan"  -- sending the Ds to UF, as opposed to college out of state. I figured they'd meet boys there, probably from South Florida, thereby increasing the chance they'd settle here. It worked for D2 -- met Jonathan at UF and married him, and after a 4 year sabbatical, moved home to Miami for good.

D1 came home for grad school, and met Joey here. As a Latin Jew, he is prohibited by Federal law from living outside of South Florida -- so that worked out great, too.

I plan to toast this exquisiteness of being together Friday night -- at D2's 31st birthday dinner. We have reservations at Il Gabbiano, which is Italian for "expensive but worth it." Actually, seagull.

I am one extremely lucky son of a bitch. I never forget that. And having my family all together -- well -- that's at the top of the list. For me, it is INDEED the American Dream.