Thursday, January 19, 2023

It's A Nice Day For A Frum Wedding

 So years ago, the County build several cultural centers, in order to have venues for people who didn't live close to Downtown or the Beach. They put them in Cutler Bay, Aventura, West Miami, and Hialeah. To raise revenue, they lease them out for events, and hilariously, the Hialeah Center, named after Henry Milander, is often used by Chabad families for their weddings, on account of the place is lovely, and 1/3 the price of a decent hotel.

Milander was the forever mayor of Hialeah before it became 90% Cuban born. Really. He was old school and beloved. My favorite tale involving him is the Herald investigating an allegation that he fixed traffic tickets for constituents to get votes. The reporter said "Mr. Mayor -- is it true you fixed over 100 tickets for Hialeahans?" He responded: "I resent that. I fixed well over A THOUSAND!" Ah -- my kind of politician.

Anyway, Waze got Wifey and I there via a cut through Miami Springs -- it only took about 40 minutes, even during rush hour. I parked, walked in, and realized I was underdressed -- I forgot my kippah! Luckily Stu was there waiting with a spare. I left Wifey on the women's side, and joined my boys. The chuppah was beautiful, and the ceremony lovely and FAR shorter than a typical Reform ceremony -- those rabbis seem to love to hear themselves speak much more than the orthodox guys -- they let the Torah do the talking!

The ceremony was outside, on the rooftop. I had a few Ketels. I saw some friends from way back when, including Craig, who I call the luckiest man in the world on account of his girlfriend is a VERY rich divorcee. Paul chatted with them, and asked Francine if she intended to marry. No way, she said, because of two words: "Permanent alimony." I mean, Craig is great, but probably not $15K per month great!

We stayed awhile, and then everyone went downstairs to the banquet hall. I had enough, and even through the fog of the Ketels, realized maybe being inside with 500 revelers during this Covid surge wasn't the greatest idea. So we left -- Wifey drove home. But we were hungry!

I had an idea -- it was 930, and so our local Flanagans, open late, would be a great place to get a bite -- it's always too packed to get in quicker than an hour wait. So we walked in, and indeed it was STILL packed -- but there were openings in the bar. So we sat and ate dinner hours after I'm typically asleep.

I slept in today, but got up in time for my workout. I bench pressed 20 reps of 300 lbs! Ok -- it was 95 lbs -- but I could have lifter heavier! My trainer Juan was impressed -- I'm fat but strong. He videoed me, and sent it tonight -- I forwarded the shots to my Ds to show their Dad is NOT a total slug -- just a partial one.

A frum wedding in Hialeah. Hialeah Frum would be a great name for a Klezmer/Reggaeton band. Maybe they'll have one for the next wedding.

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