So the other day I got a typical email from Walmart.com, my main outlet for commerce. I buy everything there, from household goods to firewood. I get free delivery, and often the stuff comes comically quickly -- like the fiber pills and vitamin C I ordered at 10 and had delivered by noon.
The email said my new Keurig single cup coffee maker would arrive in a few days. I hadn't ordered it, but figured Wifey had -- she likes to keep working coffee makers in our guest rooms, and Edna and Marc are coming in late February. So I said nothing about the $55 purchase.
And then another email came -- 4 metal folding chairs I also didn't order, but figured Wifey had, in advance of our next gathering. Our existing metal folding chairs are looking a bit worse for the wear. So this time I asked her -- and she had ordered NEITHER the chairs NOR the coffee maker.
I checked the website, and sure enough, the delivery address had been changed -- to Haines City, which I think is somewhere near Tampa. So I called Walmart to report this trespass against my discount e-commerce honor, and got a nice lady with a heavy sub continent accent. She was "veddy veddy sorry" and worked to fix it, but told me that one of the orders was "too far along" to stop. I would have to report that to my Amex people for a credit. I was going to ask her if too far along was like a prohibited abortion in a red state, but figured it might get me canceled.
I switched my account to a two step sign on, to prevent future miscreants, hopefully, and then I wondered: what kind of a loser looks to steal a total of $102 worth of stuff? I mean, if I was a cyber crook -- I would have ordered, at least, a Nespresso machine, and some good furniture. Maybe they figured small amounts would be ignored. Ha. As if. I check stuff!
In other news, the zoning referendum is heating up in Pinecrest. Our non appearance challenged Comissioner, Anna Hochkammer, texted me to ask if she could put a "Vote No" sign out front. As a viejo verde, I would have allowed her to put a "Trump in '24" sign -- but luckily she's a Democrat. Most of my 'hood is going to vote No, but I was stopped by two Republicans to talk about it.
One, who I'll call Denie, since that's her name, is a lifelong Miami WASPy Republican, but not a Trumper. She asked me to explain the issue, and afterwards said "Yes -- you're correct -- I'm voting No as well."
Our across the street neighbor is Steve -- nice fellow born in Miami, but raised in North Florida, before returning to the 305 to run his several family businesses. He IS a Trumper, and asked me about my thoughts.
He said Anna came by to talk to him, and though he voted for her, told her he was going to vote YES. I asked him why. He answered that our Council was "all on the take," and that the referendum would take power away from them, which was a good thing. I told him I know our mayor and several commission members personally, and they're independently rich -- why would they risk prison for the levels of graft that seem to be paid to get zoning changed -- typically WELL south of $100K. He didn't know.
But our talk was instructive. Many Trumpers -- probably most -- are conspiracy believers. They KNOW that the hoofbeats they hear belong to Zebras, not horses. There are always dark forces working -- and the less we let government do, the better.
The truth is, our lives won't change much regardless of the referendum's result. The deeper issue is ever electing politicians in a nation where a large minority believe as Steve does.
I had said I would stay off the neighborhood chats, but couldn't help myself. I commented that my first complaint was that it was SO hard to lose weight in Miami with all the wonderful restaurants we have. I then noted that most of the people advocating a vote of NO write well -- correct spelling, diction, and grammar, in contrast to the Yes crowd, who write like grade school dropouts. Did this mean anything? I left that for others to conclude.
I got several laugh emojis. I'm waiting for the attacks against my "elite" status. I already thought of a response. Anyone calling me an "Elite" merely needs to see me out on the street. I dress one level above homeless -- a stranger would probably to buy me a sandwich.
Whatever. It's a strange world, as the Dude noted, with lots on ins, lots of outs, lots of what-have-yous.
Hopefully, at least, my Walmart account is now safe.
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