Meetings

 My friends who are still actively working always bemoan their meetings. They're medical administrators, and the egos they deal with tend to be inflated, especially Dr. Barry, who leads an academic medical center. The classic line about fights among faculty is that they tend to be vicious because the stakes are so small -- and often there are major tussles that seem comical when viewed from the outside.

Over the years, I have dropped out of and refused to join committees. I was on one at UM for years -- matter of fact -- I helped start it. My old friend Ross was the Arts and Sciences Dean, and asked me to found an advisory committee, which would meet and tell the Dean what the College could do best to benefit Miami at large. We'd meet, and it was enjoyable, but over the decades , under the current and very long serving Dean, evolved into a much bigger deal -- I ended up being the poorest guy in the group -- the Dean properly saw the Committee as a way to get the real machers involved in the College. My lifetime six figure gifts were dwarfed by people who wrote a single check for far more than that amount.

Then, my idea, to set up a big internship office, which would allow undergrads to work with professionals in various fields, to see if they truly wanted to become, say, lawyers or artists, somehow became the Dean's idea. Whatever. I ended up making a quiet exit years ago.

My friend Yossi has repeatedly asked me to be on his Center's advisory board, too. Ha. No to the way, as they say. I've grown far too politically incorrect, and I could see blowing the entire thing up with an off color, probably pig man sort of joke. "But you're so friendly," Yossi protests. Not really, I assure him.

Well, the one committee I AM on is our HOA, which is a voluntary Board that deals with the issues of our 82 house neighborhood of rich people. The cheapest house is now worth well north of $1.5M, and the newest one under construction will probably be worth closer to $5M. So we're bunch of very fortunate, spoiled people. 

Wifey is on the Board, too -- as Crime Watch Chair, which is funny, since there has been, other than the random stealing stuff out of unlocked cars, zero crime for the last decade. Until last week (cue ominous music). Our oldest neighbor, Edye, is in her mid 90s, and lives alone. She drove to her daughter's house, and while gone, some fellows (I'm assuming) broke in through her rear sliding doors and poked around. Apparently nothing of value was taken. Since Pinecrest Police isn't exactly a Department that deals with much other than speeders and loud house parties, there is a full investigation -- including asking if any surveillance cameras caught the bad guys. Construction workers a few houses away saw a gray car "loitering" in the area near the time of the crime, but got no tag number.

So last night's Board meeting discussed this crime wave. Should we get license plate readers? Nah -- most of the time the burglars use stolen cars anyway, and a few members voiced privacy concerns. I was reminded of a tale I heard years ago involving a lawyer named Curtis, who went ballistic when his HOA in the Gables suggested cameras -- he had a few girlfriends visiting his mansion and wanted zero proof of that! Can you blame him?

My job is Welcome Chair. When we get a new neighbor, I bring over a welcome packet with info of the 'hood, as well as a bottle of inexpensive but drinkable wine.

Still, the rest of the Board are very nice -- all women. The current president had a long career as a foreign service agent, mostly in Haiti, and met her husband there -- a Waitian, as my Ds call them -- white guy who was born on the mostly Black island. The VP is Wifey and my friend -- widow of an exec of the biggest bicycle importer in the US, and a brilliant lady. The Board has 2 new members -- a teacher at a local Christian school, and a very involved Mom of three girls --- on other boards, including the really rich synagogue in Pinecrest, Temple Beth Am.

Our host's husband Rod was there, and brought me a vodka to toast him as he had an evening bourbon. 

Maybe that was the key to enjoying a meeting -- a little pop of an adult beverage.

I need to suggest to my friends that they employ that strategy at their hospitals...