The Chicken Sandwich

Not to be immodest, but around my office I'm by far the most generous person. I'm constantly buying lunch for the staff, and giving them $25 or $50 checks "just because." I enjoy doing these things, and feel it's my duty as one who has been unbelievably blessed with professional success.

MY office roommates NEVER show largesse. One fellow, also very succesful, sends folks out to buy lunch and counts out EXACTLY his share of the bill, even though he makes close to $1M per year and the staff less than 10% that. When I'm in that position, I simply pay for everyone. Or at least I did.

Yesterday, I skipped breakfast, and made it back for lunch. I asked one of the staff to order me a sandwich. She said she'd call another co worker, who was already out buying. Thirty minutes later, I saw the staff member in the kitchen. She had obviously forgotten.

She was 1/4 done with one of the most delicious looking sandwiches I'd ever seen. IT was a plump chicken breast on a baguette, that was flaking apart before my very eyes. OF course, it looked even more delectable because of how hungry I was.

The woman wasn't eating the sandwich so much as making love to it. One thing was clear: she'd have given up a lung before she was going to offer me 1/2 of the sandwich.

I slinked off, and had our file clerk go downstairs to get me some lunch. What's the moral here? IS it: good luck separating an obese woman from her lunch? Dave --stop being such a big schmuck all the time?

I guess the moral is both. The good news is that my charities will benefit with the hundreds of dollars I'm going to save no linger buying meals for ungrateful, selfish co workers!

I really am getting more prickly and crochety as I age. Either that, or wiser...