So I thought I finally stopped the annoying evangelical messages I kept getting from Grace the Nurse. To recap, years ago Wifey's friend Diane had a tummy tuck, and her surgeon said she could either spend the night in the hospital or pay for a private duty nurse. She chose the latter, and Wifey opened our house to her, and as Diane slept, I chatted with the affable Grace.
As a digression, that surgeon, who I'll call Michael, since that's his name, operated on three friends, and all had complications. One had a neck lift, and lost feeling on the side of her head because of a cut nerve. Another was left with numbness after an eye lift, and poor Diane got such a bad infection it took her years to recover. The good news is, Michael is now out of Miami -- retired, I think, or hope...
Anyway, Grace and I chatted into the wee hours, and kept in touch -- I thought she might refer me a case or two from the people she took care of. It never happened, but she took it as her mission, along with a local pastor, to convert this Red Sea Pedestrian.
I politely begged off, and later blocked her, but with some strange Christian algo or something, she kept getting around the blocks. So I finally figured out a workaround -- each time she sent me a conversion message, I sent her a bawdy video -- nothing pornographic -- but more along the lines of stuff my buds Norman and British Dave send. I told her each time I got one of hers, I would send one of mine. She finally said "uncle" but the other day had to send "just one more."
I didn't play the video, but the title was something like "Jewish man shocked to discover during a phone call that he actually believed in Jesus!" So I replied "Wow, Grace, I guess you really DO like the bawdy stuff" and sent her a video where cars are stuck in traffic behind an old clunker, because, it turns out, the guy was engaged in a sex act in the front seat. So far, a week without the Good News. We'll see.
And then last night, I awoke, as usual, around 4 am, and did exactly what sleep experts say NOT to do -- go on the phone. This time it was a message from an old employee/friend -- sending along something my friend Allison had already posted, a disclaimer from GOP voters saying that they don't really LIKE Trump, but one must vote for him for the vital needs of our nations's future.
Now everyone who knows me knows I can't stand the NYC con man. Just his voice causes me to ask Wifey to change channels -- she watches Fox to get "the other side of things."
The person who sent it married a man who literally floated over from Cuba on a raft -- and she is now FIERCELY anti immigrant. She also had at least several abortions I know about, after "accidents" with dudes she met at salsa clubs, and is now FIERCELY Pro life -- having found the Lord and realizing the error of her younger days.
It cracks me up how many of these people ignore the Jesus teaching about not casting the first stone...
Anyway, I simply deleted the message -- after mulling over for a bit whether I would reprise Mad Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions." I let it go.
I am SO OVER politics. It amazes me that Trump has such a strong chance of winning, after the Haitian eating pets stuff, and the latest involving MY peeps -- he said if he loses, he will blame the Jews. Nice.
I figure I'll wake up November 6th regardless of the outcome.
Wifey and I were talking the other day, about what it must be like to have to leave a country at our age. We were watching a story about the exploding Israeli pagers, and I said "I really don't want to have to learn Hebrew at my age." Wifey said "It's not that hard." It was her first language, but she stopped speaking it when she was our oldest grandson's age.
The thing I CAN control is my own social media -- for now, at least. Maybe no more early morning scrolling...
No comments:
Post a Comment