A Job For the Young

 Yesterday I was tasked with fetching my 3.5 year old grandson from camp, and spending some time with him. Typically we go get "eye cream" and then back to his house, but D1 said he had mentioned he wanted a new umbrella -- maybe that would be a fund grandpa/grandson activity. And, they opened a new Michael's right next to a new Dollar Store -- probably places that would have umbrellas.

The little guy was adorable and funny as always, as the nice counselor buckled him into his car seat, which these days are the equivalent of fighter pilot seats in supersonic jets. I think I finally figured them out -- and the boy is nearing 4.

We chatted, and I told him we were stopping to buy him a new umbrella. He responded that sounded like a "good idea." I pulled up to the Michael's -- indeed next to a Dollar Store.

We walked into both -- no umbrellas! But, there was also a Burlington -- which I guess was formerly Burlington Coat Factory, a store I have affection for. Years ago, we stopped in one in the Dolphin Mall, and I found a leather jacket I really liked. It was originally $500, and marked down to $50. I was sure it was a mistake, but they sold it to me, and I have gotten years of use out of it whenever I travel to cold climates.

There was a helpful young lady, and she directed us to the umbrellas. We picked two -- one for the toddler, and one "for my baby brother." Of course, getting this also involved walks, then runs, down each aisle, and my being asked if we could "Get this?"  He is high energy!

We went to check out, and there were a good 40 people on a line with 2 cashiers. It is clear to me why people all shop online now. But, the little man was a trooper -- keeping busy pulling stuff off the display racks and having me put it back, and charming a young couple waiting in front -- especially when the Venezuelan girlfriend learned he spoke Spanish.

It took a good half hour, and tired me out. I'm used to girls -- boys move a LOT more. I was reminded of a field trip where I chaperoned when D2 was in kindergarten.

The teacher, Mrs. Tables, figured she would put me in charge of 5 boys. We were at the then Parrot Jungle -- now Pinecrest Gardens. No problem -- I was a grown ass man, and these were 5 year olds.

When we got back to the entrance, to leave, to my horror I realized Nicholas was missing! I must have aged 10 years -- where the hell did he go, I was watching like a hawk.

Mrs. Tables was unworried, and retraced our steps back to a huge banyan tree. Sure enough Nicholas has scurried up the tree like a squirrel and was sitting on a branch 20 feet high, grinning. He reluctantly came back to earth.

So I guess I learned then, over a quarter century ago, but now I have it first hand.

Umbrellas bought, we headed to McDonalds for the vanilla cone, which the little guy savored. 

We walked in to D1, and I clearly looked like I needed a drink. She reminded me I was with him for 1.5 hours -- she has him all day!

Indeed she does, but she and Joey are nearly 30 years younger. Children are for the young adults.

When I see old guys with younger wives, toddlers in tow, I shake my head. Not on my life!

I take kids too seriously, and I know I am too old for fatherhood.

 For those fellows who feel otherwise -- power to you.

D1 is chaperoning the camp today -- the kids are at a play hall in South Miami. She is getting a taste of little girls -- less active, but capable of much more meanness, apparently.

I just know I love the grandpa gig -- play time, and then a handoff, before it gets too much.

The key is to remain one cool rocking grandaddy in the USA.