So our dear friend Joelle is the master (mistress?) of fun, and she suggested we take advantage of Miami Spa Days. I'm not much of a spa guy, but this is a program where locals can book spa stuff at deep discounts, and it comes with free valet parking (probably$50 at these hotels) and cabana service at the beach. She picked the Setai, a top place on 20th and Collins, and yesterday we attended.
I had never been to the property, but Wifey had. A few years back, her friend's daughter was living with a really rich guy who rented there -- for, I think, $15Kper month. It's one of those uber expensive properties, but at bargain prices for us -- well -- a real treat.
We fetched our friends in the Grove, and enjoyed the traffic free time of no school in Miami Dade. We checked in early at the spa, and were directed to the beach, where helpful pool guys set us up with 4 chaise lounges and multiple umbrellas. The breeze was delicious -- turns out that going to the beach is pretty pleasant.
This is a running joke with Wifey and me. We live close to a beach where millions pay tons of money to come visit, and we rarely go. When we do, we always say we ought to go more often!
I attempted to remedy this in 1997, by buying an oceanfront condo on Mid- Beach. It was in an older building, on the 11th floor, but had gorgeous views of the sea. The problem was, the Ds were 5 and 8, and most weekends were booked with dance recitals, parties, and all the curricula post school of modern kids. So we ended up using the place rarely -- actually -- friends were there, happily, much more often than we were.
Near the end of ownership, I let the estranged husband of Wifey's dear friend stay there with his younger girlfriend -- he was cheap and didn't want to spring for a hotel, and I figured, well, why not. Turns out the friend never forgave me for that -- even decades later.
We ended up selling the place in 2000 to buy Villa Wifey -- but yesterday brought back memories.
Anyway, after the beach, we retired to the pool, which was NOT included in our Spa Days package, but Joelle charmed her way in, and we took a dip among the international guests. Interestingly, there were several older fathers there with their amazingly gorgeous young daughters! Kenny and I found that so heartwarming. Wifey and Joelle not so much, for some strange reason.
After lunch oceanside, we went to the treatment center, up on the 18th floor of the main building, with gorgeous balcony views of the sea, and west to the amazing Miami skyline, which is probably now a top 3 in the US, with NYC and Chicago. We drank the Setai's signature lemongrass iced tea, which is addictive. And then we were called into the treatment rooms.
The Ds used to make me get facials, on account of I need them, but my last was over 5 years ago, and was an aggressive "extraction" of blackheads and such, all the stuff growing and burrowed deep into my aging face. This one was much more relaxing -- just massage and various exfoliants. Wifey got one, too, and we both emerged relaxed and glowing.
We had the man sized SUV brought around, and it was back to the Grove, to meet Joelle and Kenny's latest addition: Moxie, an adorable 30 lb Lab mix they just rescued. She was all energy and face licking -- a truly sweet new pup for them. My dog obsessed family had me send pictures, of course.
So it was a lovely day, as expected. Today I meet my trainer, to get tortured, and then host a haberdasher, to buy the first new clothes in years. I loathe shopping, and this service comes to your office or house, measures you, and brings back clothes. They're not bespoke, but a bit more expensive than stores. I need new duds on account of I am very fat. As Juan notes, I work like a slave but won't give up eating like a king. So -- new clothes.
I know who I AM, as my dear friend Paul likes to say, and who I am NOT.
Maybe I'll get around to eating more like a slave, and be ready for some bathing suits for the next beach trip. Nah. Probably not.
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