Vicarious

 So D2 made a lovely unexpected visit yesterday, with the enormous puppy. She had some business in the South part of town, and so stopped over. We roused Wifey, and ran some errands -- Truist Bank to get cash for Wifey, as she never goes to the bank herself, and then lunch at Roasters, and then UPS for me to drop off a package for my Cali sister. There was also a stop in the liquor store next to UPS, and then a return at DWS Shoes.

D2 loved the visit. The Truist stop gave her some Daddy cash, and I paid for the wine she needed as a dinner gift to some friends. "Wow," she noted, "I LOVE coming to Pinecrest."

And I love it, too -- spoiling my Ds and sons in law and grandkids. And it made me think about my Dad, gone 41 years this July.

My Dad returned from the Army in WW II and set about working 3 jobs -- to support my Mom and sister, born in January of 1945. As time went on, he dropped to 2 jobs and then finally a single one, in the late 50s. The year after I was born, he and my Mom realized they needed more room than the garden apartment in Queens provided, and so Dad borrowed $2K from his boss and they bought the house where I grew up, on Long Island.

But Dad always felt he missed out -- on college. He prized intelligence and education, and though some of his cohort attended college on the GI Bill, or with family money, higher education wasn't in Dad's fate.

My sisters both got AA degrees, from a commuter school, FIT, but I was the first to attend university. And boy -- Dad was so proud. He truly lived college vicariously through me.

When I would drive home for weekend visits, or over the Summers, he wanted to know everything -- about the girls, the sports, the parties, and most of all, the classes. He would glow hearing about a particularly interesting classroom discussion. And I loved to share the tales with him, knowing this most important person in my life was getting to live out his dream through me.

My friends and I do the same -- though since we all attended college -- it's not about that. We enjoy hearing about fields other than law and medicine. We enjoy hearing about the travel and experiences our kids have at younger ages than we could afford.

Wifey and my starter house cost $86.5K. That's about $235K in today's dollars. In Miami, that amount might get you a starter studio -- and not in a good part of town.

D1 and Joey live in a 7 figure house. D2 and Jonathan just bought one, too --they close on it at the end of the month.

And this gives me thrills, vicariously -- to see the lifestyles they can enjoy in their 30s.

Other friends have kids that have had more fun in their first 25 years than they have at age 60. By a long shot. And it's funny -- none of my doctor friends have kids who have become physicians as well. They're too smart -- they see how tough it was for their Dads, and the hours, and know life can be enjoyed a lot more by avoiding that demanding profession.

There are a few lawyer offspring, but not many. Likewise, the young-uns picked finance, and accounting, and HR, and journalism, and communications and engineering. 

A few friends have kids who eschewed college completely. One of the young men started a tech company while he was in high school, that's now attracted serious investors. This kid was throwing parties for frat boys while he was in high school. As his Dad noted -- what's the point of going to frat parties now?

Most of my friends still provide material support for their adult kids. We weren't so lucky -- once I was a lawyer, I was on my own. There were generous gifts, of course, but no paying for my kids' college -- that's the plan the Ds are on with Wifey and me.

And we love it. We know we've had blessed, and fortunate lives. And we want our kids to have even better lives than we did.

That is the best vicarious thrill of all.