Thursday, June 22, 2023

Successful Pussy Procurement

 So it was off early, to the MIA Centurion Lounge, where they open at 530, for a nice breakfast and a check on the flight status. Lo and behold: Kenny and I were upgraded for First -- I don't recall the last time that happened. Kenny sauntered to the gate and I handed him the cardboard boarding pass -- he waved me off and said "Got it on my phone." You do NOT, Sir, I answered and handed him the First pass. We boarded a big ass 787 and started the trip like gentlemen -- a nice touch.

We had time in Philly and went to the Centurion there, for a little lunch and day drinking, and then off to Portland. Kenny had an electric Chevy waiting, and we went to the house, checked on the target cats, and then went to his friends Claire and David for a lovely dinner, followed by a trip home and the best part of the trip -- sleeping weather! I love sleeping when it's cool out, and it was in the mid to low 50s.

Tuesday we had some errands, and took a nice walk across the private causeway, waving at kayakers on the lake. We had lunch at Honey Badger, a local place I had been before, and later, after a few errands including Kenny procuring the cat tranquilizer, dinner at a place in a nearby town.

The people are SO different -- so white! Spanish or other languages isn't heard. Wifey loves one part of it -- the women all dress SO frumpy in Maine -- and for women past a certain age, there is zero competition in that regard. For a viejo verde like me, well, Miami is the equivalent of an African veldt, whereas Maine is far less so -- sort of a wasteland for guys who like to check out attractive young women. It's just as well -- I'm turning 62 --- enough of that already!

Yesterday was the heart of the mission, and it wasn't so easy. There's a reason "like herding cats" is a true simile, and it was no mean feat corralling these critters. Kenny and Joelle's cats are older, and once Kenny trapped them in a towel, I was able to squirt in the syringe of sleepy juice with just a few hisses -- but their boy Adam's small, female cat was a hellion. She kept escaping, one time vaulting Kenny after hiding in a tiny space under a vanity, and I foresaw having to tell Adam his cat was simply going to have to survive outside on birds and rodents until he could wrangle her.

Finally, Kenny trapped her in a bathroom, and I was able to shoot the syringe, which resulted in a foaming at the mouth angry little cat -- but Kenny was able to get her into the carrier.

We stopped for great sandwiches, and were off to Portland International Jetport. TSA was great -- they took us each for "private search" in a room, but the huge guard told me I had to remove the hell cat from its carrier. Oh boy -- I told him the thing would be tough, and then the guard asked if I wanted him to do it. I did -- turned out the giant loved cats, and kept the kitty calm while they confirmed the carrier didn't have explosives.

But then the drama started. Southwest told Kenny it wasn't two cats/one person -- it was one! Had this entire trip been in vain? Luckily a nice lady stepped up -- she would carry the cat onto the plane -- at least to Baltimore DEI International Airport. I made up the name, but the lady was really nice. And we were off for leg one of the trip.

In Baltymore, as Philly people call it, we waited for the flight to FLL, and it was packed. They paid 2 passengers $1200 each to take a later flight! We had 3 carriers, and knew they would only allow us to take on 2. So Kenny asked a nice teenager if  he would carry the cat. He would. Turned out be was part of a 7 person Israeli-American family - -I chatted with the young mentsch's bubbe the entire way -- she was younger than I am! We arrived in FLL -- 3 cats safely extracted from Maine.

We got into a cab rather than mess with Uber, and we off to the Grove. The hi-jinks weren't over, though. The Haitian driver, on I-95, asked if it was ok if he stopped -- his gas gauge was solidly on E. Really? It didn't occur to him that maybe he should have gas??? He stopped in Opa Locka, and got us the rest of the way.

The cats were happy to be back with Joelle and Adam. Mission accomplished. Wifey drove me home -- to our dogs. Yeah -- I'm really much more of a dog guy. But there are 3 Maine cats back where they need to be -- and that was the whole point.

No comments: