They ASKED FOR IT

 My mother in law Rachel died a year ago. When she moved from the Palace ALF to its nursing home, across the parking lot, the social worker cautioned Wifey: the hospice contract with the ALF was with a company called Seasons, which was great, but the nursing home had Vitas, which was not. And boy was she correct!

We had experience with Seasons at Miami Jewish -- they gave decent care to my mother and father in law at the end of their lives. And Seasons for Rachel was fine, too, but Vitas people were often missing, and you could never get their supervisors on the phone.

Still -- we were as low maintainence as possible -- we knew Rachel was at the end, and just wanted someone there for pain meds and support. Unfortunately, as Rachel's baseball game of life reached the bottom of the ninth, Vitas walked off the field.

Wifey and I were visiting, and Vitas's nurse was leaving, and, she told us, due to short staffing, would not be replaced that night. But it was crunch time, we protested! She shrugged and left. What was worse, as Vitas was in charge, the regular Palace nursing staff told us they were limited in what they could do. It was a real problem -- especially as Rachel's breathing was becoming labored.

I called and called, trying to "Escalate" using corporate speak. I got to someone claiming to be a nurse manager, and she told me that Covid had really hurt -- they were just too short staffed. Surely they could pay someone extra, though, I begged -- it was really the end of the line for my mother in law. She said she would call back. She never did.

I drove to the Kendall CVS and Publix in a pouring June evening rain, to get Wifey supplies. I bought gourmet cookies for the nice Palace nurse -- in a blatant bribe attempt for as much attention as he could give us. And then I went home.

Mercifully, Rachel died just a few hours later, as Wifey held her hand, and I was on the phone with the funeral home asking about late night pickup. I finished my call, and the funeral people said they would be at the Palace within 2 hours, but could only take Rachel if Vitas signed off on a death certificate!

More stress! I called back all the numbers I had, and finally they answered -- they would send a chaplain who had the power to sign the certificate. Luckily, he arrived just as I got back to the Kendall address -- a very nice, Christian fellow. He asked if we wished to do a Christian prayer, and Wifey and I said no -- we were Jews, and would be speaking to Dad and not the Son. He understood, but asked if he could pray for Rachel on his own. Sure, I said, you never know...

Anyway, we left, and Rachel's funeral went on two days later. Rabbi Yossi made it back from NYC to preside, and as Wifey wished, no shiva. And that was that, as the saying goes.

Until it wasn't. Vitas sent Wifey a letter that arrived yesterday -- noting the anniversary and asking, like former NYC Mayor Koch used to ask "How am I doin?"

So I sat at the keyboard last night, as Dylan played of the Sonos, at Wifey's request (my writing, not Dylan) and I composed a scathing letter to Vitas, even summoning the sad 70s ballad by John VonWarmer "You Left Me Just When I Needed You Most."

Wifey signed it, and we'll mail it out today. I noted in the letter we COULD have sued, but decided not to, even though my friend Stuart settled a nice sized claim against Vitas for their botching of hospice care with an old Cuban abuelo. Nah -- Wifey just wanted someone at the company to know. I'm sure my missive will end up in the circular file.

And we will NOT be bringing any of our death business to Vitas ever again! Big Man willing, we won't need their competitors, either.