Getting Zeros On Tests

 So I was always a good student, though struggled with Math beginning with pre-Calculus in high school. Since I was going to be pre-med in college, I knew I would have to take Calculus, and dreaded it. I put it off until my junior year.

Sure enough, the first test came, in September of  1981. I was living with Dr. Barry, and Dr. Eric was our apartment's squatter -- he commuted but spent most of his time with us. They're both Math whizzes.

I got the test back: ZERO!.  I'm pretty sure that was a first for me. Calculus was like learning Chinese to me -- it made no sense. Barry said he needed to come to my class to see first hand what was going on, and so he did.

In fact, Professor MacDougal was a bit addled. He did a problem where his answer was that the center of mass of an object was, by his calculations, OFF of the object! Barry said that partially explained my being so befuddled -- I had a bad teacher, though he was a very nice fellow.

Barry and Eric tutored me, and somehow I managed a gentleman's C for the course. It was one of the factors telling me that pre-med wasn't for me. But I still recall getting the zero on the test.

Well, fast forward 42 years. I got another zero on a test. Last week, I had a CT Scan for a Calcium Score, which measures calcium in the vessels around the heart, as a predictor of heart disease.

So this time, Zero was perfect! It was terrific news. I'm confident that if Dad was administered the test as he was nearing 62 years of age, he would have gotten some findings. Indeed, he died at 63.

My Mom died at 93, and never had heart issues, despite a Burger King Whopper habit that was a lifelong thing. Her other favorite foods were lobster drenched in butter, and the Costco $1 hot dogs. Not exactly a healthy eater.

So hopefully I inherited my Dad's sharp wit, but Mom's cardiovascular genetics.  I guess time will tell, but at least for now, per the CT scanner at Baptist West Kendall, as read by radiologist Medina, ain't nothing clogging stuff up.

In a related anecdote, I watched the hilarious Charles Barkley being interviewed about taking Ozempic for weight loss. He was asked why, and he replied to live longer, since he worked so hard and wanted to enjoy his money in lieu of "all the freeloaders getting to spend it." He's a funny guy.

Meanwhile, at 3:45 today we're fetching our friend Ronnie from Deering Bay and schlepping up to Aventura for our friend Cara's "housewarming dinner" at 5 pm. Really. 5 pm.

Cara moved into the very upscale senior living place called the Vi, and in a marketing ploy, they invite new residents to have friends join them in the restaurant for dinner. It makes sense -- they figure a new Vi resident must have friends also as old as fuh, as the Millennials say, and maybe they'd be interested in moving there.

In a preview of the future, I'm the only guy. I think the other guests are Allison, Linda, Wifey, and Ronnie and Cara. I guess I'll know what a sheik feels like surrounded by a harem, albeit a harem of not very young slave girls.

Still, I'm sure they'll have vodka there, and I plan to toast: to the best Zero on a test one can obtain.