Daughter #1 leaves tomorrow for Israel, on an eleven day trip sponsored by a group called "BirthRight." BR was funded by billionaires Bronfman (Seagrams) and Adelson (casinos) who are both avowed Zionists, based upon studies that show that Diaspora Jews who visit Israel as young adults support the Holy Land; those who don't visit --not so much.
Daughter #1 is very excited. She's going with her dear friend and UF roommate, and has heard from former participants about how the voyage is a life changing event.
A week ago, I spoke to an old friend about the trip. "Really? You'd Let your daughter go? Aren't there still suicide bombings there?"
Just moments ago, Daughter #2 came in and told me she was going to lunch with her friend "A," an 11th grader we've known for years. A is a handsome, respectful young man, who overdosed on an anti depressant drug 3 months ago, in a suicide attempt. Since then, he has undergone intense therapy, is drug free, and has returned to school where he's gotten great grades.
Of course --my dilemma is clear. In Daughter #1's case --she's 19, and could go regardless of my blessing, but she wouldn't. #1 is not yet 15, so a simple "No --because I said so" works.
So, like all caring parents, I balance the need to let them live and learn and experience versus the fear of danger and bad consequences.
Do I teach Daughter #2 that you have to run from friends with problems? Is a friend less dangerous because he's never had problems?
In the end, I just do what I always do --keep constant cell hphone contact, hold my breath, and hope for the best.
It's easy to see why so many fathers just withdraw from this stuff --it's a hard job!!!!!
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