Muchos Gracias

I learned an early lesson from my mother that has served me amazingly well throughout my life: always show gratitude. She made us send thank you notes, and always make someone who had given us a gift feel good about doing it.

When I met wifey, she found the whole idea about writing thank you notes a novel one. She was taught to say thank you, but that was it. She begrudgingly sat with me after our wedding, writing notes to all who came and brought gifts. Whenever someone would visit, and bring something, it was the same routine.

Even in college, I would send notes to professors who went out of their way for me. Often they would be surprised, and called me a pleasant anachronism.

The habit continued as a young lawyer, and I can say unequivocally, after 21 years of practice, that my graciousness has paid enormous dividends. My mentors were so thrilled when I'd buy them a bottle of scotch, or pay for a dinner, after they took the time to counsel me. I got an offer for the job that turned me into a success after I was the only one of 10 candidates who sent a written note thanking the firm for lunch and their interview.

I thank people generously when they send me cases, and, as a result, they send me more cases! It's so simple and logical: people like to do business with folks who make them feel good, and showing one's appreciation is a sure fire way to make someone feel good.

My daughters have been taught the same way. Daughter number one has gotten a reputation at her sorority as the most gracious one, since she sends notes whenever someone does something nice for her. She even asked me if she should thank her aunt for a birthday gift she was told about; I told her it was proper to wait until the gift was actually received before acknowledging it.

I wonder and worry about the majority of her generation, though. I recently bought dinner for several young lawyers, and only one even bothered to send me an email thanks. The rest of them seemed to think that a free dinner at Capital Grille was somehow bestowed upon them. When I have a case to refer, guess which of that group is going to see it.

I give gifts to friends and family regardless of their response. I get the joy in giving a gift.

In fact, Wifey reminded me that years ago, when I was a struggling young lawyer, she asked me what I'd do if I made a lot of money. She claims that, without missing a beat, I replied that I'd love to be the guy who could always pick up the check at a dinner.

I got to that point largely by showing gratitude. I hope those I know and love learn that lesson, too.