Avoiding the Heaviness

My family ALWAYS subscribed to newspapers.  On LI it was Newsday, and our neighbor Big Jimmy, who was a shipping clerk for the Times, used to deliver to several of us that bountiful Sunday paper, which my Dad savored, usually along with crumb cake he'd bring home from the Levittown Bakery.  Sometimes my Dad would bring the Post home for my Mom, who enjoyed its silly articles about the celebrity world of NYC.

When they moved to Florida, my Dad subscribed to the Herald, and then a few years later switched to the Sun Sentinel, as it had more news about Southern Palm Beach County.  My mom kept up the subscription after he died, and when I would come home from UM, I'd read it each am. Until...

One day, when I was in law school, I awoke and went to fetch the paper from the front of her condo.  There was none.  Sunny had canceled the subscription -- she said it was mostly sad and bad news, and she no longer wished to get that into her head.  Same thing with TV -- she watched travel and nature shows, and cooking specials, but would switch off the news.

I thought that was silly, and was mildly annoyed at having to drive to the Stop and Shop for my morning news fix, but as I age, I see my Mom's wisdom.  It really makes sense to block out the negative, when you can, and only allow the happy and positive in.

Of course, life brings us plenty of the black.  And I'm too much of a news junkie to ever give it up.  But when I choose to socialize, I really only want to the happy, the lighthearted, the sweet.

My dentist Larry is a cool guy.  He's near 70 -- Miami Beach native.  He told me a tale last I was in his chair.  He and his wife went out with another couple -- the other wife was the "it girl" back at Beach High, Class of '65.  When they sat down, the other couple began the conversation by listing their many health issues.  Larry said he exclaimed "Not tonight, please.  I know we all have these medical problems -- I myself am a double cancer survivor.  But can we please focus on the happy -- let's share tales of our kids and grandkids, places we've traveled or still wish to see."

At first, he said, the woman was offended, but later came around.  Larry didn't wish to hear her troubles, nor share his own.  Again -- I love his wisdom.

Friday night Wifey and I were enjoying a quiet night, and her friend called -- in town from Boston.  The friend has a son facing probably decades in prison for an awful accident.  We discussed it at first, and then, after I had my two Ketels, Wifey drove us to Christy's.  I took control -- grabbed the menus from Wifey and her friend, ordered us delicious food, and kept the conversation on the happy side of things.  I think our friend really appreciated the break -- many of her local friends seem to wish to dwell on the dramatic and sad.

And so it shall be.  I'll still get the paper, and read the world's travails, but to the extent I control my own input, well, it's going to be happy stuff, most of the time.

I had a long talk with my Rabbi friend, as I asked him some advice about a family issue.  After he shared his wisdom and take, he reminded me -- I'm one of the sunniest dudes he knows.  It's my natural state.  He told me to resist those who would try to bring me to the dark.  The Rabbi is right on, as usual.