Snapshots in Time

So preparations continue for what I've begun calling D1's big, fat, Colombian wedding.  D1 is quite the executive, and has hired two excellent wedding planners, so most of the work is done.  I have two tasks, and I'm nearly finished.  First -- write a big check, which I did, to open a "wedding account" D1 has been using.  Second, buy a new tux, which I did.  It should be delivered in May or June, and then I get another included tailoring in August, hopefully to make it smaller as I shun carbs in anticipation of the big day.

D1 was telling me about her guest list, and deciding which friends to include.  Even though it's going to be a big wedding -- 285 is the max allowed by the hall -- you have to decide, to summon Bob Seger, who to leave out; who to leave in.

It got me to remembering Wifey and my wedding, now over 30 years in the past.  Friends who seemed so integral to our lives have drifted out of our lives.  Some people then on the periphery, or not known then, have become crucial friends.  Of course, many of the relatives have since died.

D1 isn't having a bridal party -- the only one standing with her will be D2.  As we look back on Wifey's party -- there were 4 women.  Wifey's best friend then and now had to miss the wedding, as she was about to give birth to her daughter Erica.  And of the 4 who DID stand -- two are completely out of Wifey's life, one she speaks to only a few times per year, and the other she sees rarely as well.

I had a larger group of fellows: 6 groomsmen.  Happily, 4 are still close buddies, but two of the guys are gone from my life, mostly.  One completely, and one I saw for the first time last year in 20 years and likely won't see again for a good, long, time.

Had you asked Wifey and me, back in January of 1987 if there was ANY chance of these changes, we'd have laughed.  And yet, the ebb and flow of life has its way.

Wifey was walked down the aisle by her parents.  Her Dad died last year -- her mother, at 93, is still very much alive.  My Mom walked me down, with her brother, my uncle Marty.  Marty died, a happy and old man, about 15 years ago, if memory serves.  Mom passed 4 years ago -- this coming Thursday is her Yahrzeit.

We had a "relief rabbi," a fellow named Lipson, who did the ceremony after our planned rabbi, Mark Kram, bolted at the last minute for a free trip to Israel, when a Federation guy got sick and there was a non refundable ticket.  His abandonment of us, after giving us a big play about being an integral part of our wedding, soured Wifey and me on organized Judaism for years -- only to be brought back to the Tribe by a rental tenant we had who happened to be a great young man -- he'll be performing D1's wedding -- he Bat Mitzvaed her, too.

As soon as I broke the glass, and moved in to kiss Wifey, her head was pulled away by her Mom -- SHE was to have the first kiss of her married daughter.  The moment was a preview of life ahead -- to this day, Wifey remains my mother in law's reason for living -- she adores her daughter as few other mothers adore theirs.

We laugh about that moment now, and PROMISE to D1 that Joey will get the first kiss.

And we'll take pictures -- snapshots in time.  It'll be wondrous to see how things change from the wedding day forward.