La Suegra la Vampira Emocianal

Poor Wifey. I really feel for her. She's engaged in a sysiphean task to make her ancient mother happen. It just gets worse and worse. The old woman proclaimed she was leaving the "cage" where she is currently "trapped," and is moving to a place up in Broward called Forest Trace. Her frenemy Dobka is there, and the old woman contrived an entire narrative in her head in which Dobka wanted her to move there, and the two of them would live out the final years together -- talking about their childhoods in Poland, the camps, family, etc... Not so fast. My mother in law met with the admissions lady there yesterday. The woman, Michelle, called Wifey and delivered the funny but not really news: my suegra was not suitable for admission, on account of her deafness. She'd be a liability, since the staff doesn't have the saintly patience Wifey does to write out everything, and also Michelle could see right away my mother in law would be socially ostracized. Apparently they took her for lunch in the dining room, which is upscale in a faint smell of urine sort of way, and she spoke so loudly it disturbed the others. When she was politely shushed, well, I can only imagine she reacted as she does when Wifey tries to do it in a restaurant...not well. The young driver Matteo is a sweet young man -- son of Wifey's friend. He felt bad -- reported that Dobka wasn't too nice either -- rushed them out of her apartment, and seemed annoyed at her cousin/former best friend's presence. I've long disliked Dobka myself. In 1986 Wifey and I bought our first house -- in what's now called East Kendall. It was tiny and rustic -- with great Dade County Pine open beamed ceilings. My mother had gifted my sisters and I each $10K, and we used our gift for the $8650 down payment. We were So proud of the place, and loved showing it off to everyone. Dobka came to see it, looked around, and gave the smirk that Eastern European Jewish women of a certain age have raised to an art form. I've really never seen any other variety of human make the same face -- part dog shit smeared on the upper lip, part scowl -- really something to see. Dobka gave a classic smirk and said to me, and I remember her words exactly even 30 years later "So -- you a lawyer, eh? Dat's good -- mebbe someday you buy a real house mit real ceilings." And Dobka is considered nicer and classier than my mother in law!!! Whatever. Tonight Wifey and I went to have the debriefing with her mother. I wrote out a letter for Wifey to give her -- kindly explaining that her deafness prevented her admission, and maybe she ought to reconsider a cochlear implant -- which would give back some hearing. Ha. As if! She read the letter, gave the Dobka smirk, and announced that she didn't want to live there anyway -- all the people did was play cards all day. No -- she wants to go to the Palace -- a place some card player friends moved to 20 years ago and loved. Yeah -- right. Even my mother -- socially the equivalent to Queen Elizabeth compared to my mother in law -- felt the Palace was far too swanky for her. It ain't happening... So the misery will continue. I'm emotionally uninvolved -- I long ago made my peace with my in laws, and don't really care that much other than giving the requisite care and respect to my suegra -- but Wifey will continue to suffer. And keep rolling that boulder up the side of the hole -- only to have her mother kick it back down...