The Very Funny Wife

Years ago, my law partner Paul and I were having lunch at our power spot, Capital Grille, and had with us our friend and associate Allison, and Paul's law school bud Abbey. Allison was single, and studying the ways of powerful men, and asked Abbey how he chose his wife Allene. Abbey told us when he was contemplating marriage, he made two lists about his girlfriend -- what he liked, and what he didn't, and the first one was very long, while the second had only one entry, so he went ahead with the proposal. And, it seems it's a fine match -- they've been together now over 40 years, have two great kids, the second of whom is marrying soon. Of course, I had to know, what was the one negative? Abbey replied "She has NO sense of humor. She rarely thinks things are funny, and seldom laughs." Wow, I thought -- that was a deal breaker for me. A lifetime with minimal or no laughter? I think I'd have overlooked the positives, and bolted. Okay -- maybe not -- Allene also came from a very rich family... So when I asked Wifey to marry me, in 1986, I didn't make any formal lists. I loved her, and knew she loved me. Our values were similar -- proud Jewish Americans, not religious. And we laughed together -- a LOT. So we made it official in January of '87, and plan to celebrate our 30th anniversary in a little over half a year. And we've been blessed in our lives beyond our wildest imaginations -- largely with two Ds that are, well, pretty ok. And the laughter is still there. I make her laugh a lot, and she still cracks up the Ds and me, though lately, it's been via some hilarious social miscues. Last month, we were in NYC, at a historic Italian place, with D2 and her man Jonathan. The waiter was a Central American fellow, with a pronounced Spanish accent. He brought one of the courses, and announced it was "feeesh." D2, Jonathan, and I just nodded, but Wifey HAD to know. She looked at him and asked "Feeeeeesh?" She claims she said "Quiche" -- mishearing the man, but D2 and Jonathan heard otherwise, and looked at each other in horror -- thinking Wifey was cruelly mocking this man's accent. Finally, she figured it out, and announced "Oh -- you mean FISH," and the meal proceeded. But the rest of the trip one of us would say "Feeeeesh???" and make each other laugh. Well, last night Wifey's unintentional humor struck again...again at a restaurant. D1 and her man Joey and the two of us met at Glass and Vine -- an awesome new restaurant located in Peacock Park, in the Grove. It was my third time, and we made plans with the Assistant Manager Patrick to bring a large group back for July 4 fireworks. D1 knows EVERYONE in Miami, and sure enough her friend Hillary's grandmother was there. I put on my charm hat, walked up to her, and asked if she had a sister named Amy (Amy is her daughter). I made the old lady's night, of course... And then D1's two former sorority mates came over. I'll call them Julie and Stacey, as those are their names. They're terrific young ladies, and were married last year at the Biltmore. I thought everyone associated with the Ds knew this. I was wrong. When Wifey asked their names, and heard the last ones were the same, she blurted out "Oh -- you're SISTERS?" Of course, Wifey wasn't the first to make that mistake, we're all sure, but it was classic Wifey. So now, I'm guessing family lore for the next month or so will be "Oh -- so you're SISTERS?" Maybe there'll be sister Feeesh. Wifey keeps us laughing, and that's priceless...