The Two Mother's Day

My Mom's been gone three years now, so the whole MD thing is, at bottom, sad for me, but I've shifted my focus to Wifey who, as far as I know, is the only Baby Mama I have. And yesterday she had 2 MDs. The first was for her. We fetched D1 in MidTown, and drove across the causeway to the Land of Our People, as Archie Bunker used to say, Miami Beach. D1 and D2 had been to a gorgeous new hotel called the Edition, and Wifey chose the place for a MD brunch. I usually avoid trendy Beach places, but this one was a smaller version of the grandeur of the Fountainbleau at its height. It was beautiful and elegant. The pool and patio areas, ocean front, were stunning. D2 FaceTimes us, and walked with us to our table. We set the phone on a water glass so she could participate virtually -- Wifey opened her MD gift, as usual, a piece of jewelry from Phillips House, our "family shop," owned by dear friends Alex, Danielle, and Lisa. Wifey loved it, and D2 signed off. We ate a delicious brunch, and then toured the property. It was sunny and unseasonably cool. It was a delightful day. D1 was due in Sunny Isles Beach to attend her boyfriend's Mom's MD celebration, and was going to Uber, but instead I offered to drive. The trip up Collins Avenue was terrific -- it was a drive my parents and I took often with my Uncle Abe and Aunt Lorraine, back when we were tourists in the Beach. We drove past the condo we used to own on 55th Street, now with a white building instead of peach. D1, like me, essentially a member of the local Chamber of Commerce, pointed out all of the micro neighborhoods along the way "Argentines live here;" "this is mostly Russian." We dropped her at Ocean II, where Jackie, maybe her future suegra, lives. They invited us in, but we had OTHER mothers to fry... We were due to fetch my mother in law Rachel, at 6. We arrived at 6:08, and Wifey was greeted by screams asking why she makes her wait so long. It was a lovely greeting. Wifey walked out, and wrote on her phone that her mother was NEVER to do that again. Rachel meekly apologized. My mother in law is stubborn. She is obnoxious. She thinks she is still sharp as a tack, but she is in early dementia. This makes for a stew of difficulty in dealing with her -- like a spoiled toddler, who will go off at any moment. We took her to old standby Canton. She lit up "Oy -- I haven't had Chinese in so long!" I reminded her we had taken her twice in recent weeks. "Maybe de have a hamburger?" No, but I was ordering their "special steak," which comes to the table steaming. "Oy -- I don't eat steak -- I have chicken." So we ordered both, and when she saw the steak, helped herself to a cowboy sized portion. The chicken largely went to feed some stray cats Wifey saw later at her condo... The evening went from bad to worse. After we took her to a local bakery and got her a chocolate eclair, which she devoured like a squid does its prey, we returned to the condo, which Wifey has in pristine condition. She had begged Wifey to move her there. Now she told Wifey she was bored -- she "needs to go out every day for a few hours." Easy solution, thought I, Dave the fix it guy. There's a pass through gate to a Publix strip center -- I wrote to her that she should walk over each day when Wifey hadn't planned a driver, at least to walk around, maybe get a coffee. She LOVED the idea, and so we walked her the hundred feet or so to the gate, like parents showing a first grader how to walk to school. She struggled with the door -- a heavy Medico locked thing. My mother in law always had the light touch of a longshoreman, and now its even worse -- she nearly broke the key off in the slot. When Wifey tried to help, she violently pushed Wifey back "I NOT stupid!!!" but was unable to manipulate the door. So much for practical solutions to an ancient, obstinate woman's issues... So it went... and so it go. For Wifey, one out of two ain't bad.