Sunday, March 5, 2023

RIP, To A Man in Full

 My brother of another mother and law partner Paul and I share something sacred in common: we keep friends for a lifetime. One of the joys of our relationship is that, mafia-like, my friends become his, and vice versa. And so it was with Frank.

Paul met Frank the very first day he moved into the dorms at GW, in the Fall of 1968. A tall, lanky, nerdy guy came to Paul's room asking if he had an extra pillow. Frank, then and forever absent minded, forgot to bring one from his LI home. Paul indeed had an extra, and so began a brotherhood that lasted until yesterday -- nearly 55 years.

After school, Paul came to Miami for law school, with his young wife Joanne, and Frank went out west to become a podiatrist. Joanne had a close friend Beth to whom she introduced Frank. Beth was also LA bound -- for law school. The two hit it off and were married all of these years -- with 2 daughters, one in LA with her 2 kids, and the other in Boston with her 2 kids -- they created an amazing family and life.

Frank was a diver, and came to the Keys often, sometimes alone, and sometimes with one of his girls. During these trips, I got to know him very well. We celebrated his 50th birthday together at Joes's on South Beach -- what a time that was!

Paul and I had some business in LA, and after we completed it, Frank met us and took us to a gorgeous place in Malibu -- Geoffrey's. I still recall that afternoon -- 2 60s era guys, and this 70s era guy walking the beach, talking of life. A beachball crossed our path, and one of us bent down to catch it. A striking blonde woman with an Aussie accent came and got it, and thanked us. It was Olivia Newton-John! Ah. A brush with fame. This was over 22 years ago.

Paul and Patricia and Frank and Beth traveled together. A few months pre pandemic, Wifey and I joined the 2 couples for dinner in Aventura. It was lovely.

Tragically, Frank was diagnosed with glioblastoma, a terminal brain cancer, around 2 years ago. He sought aggressive treatment, but I knew the outcome. Surgery to reduce the tumor mass gave him some more time, but an immunotherapy that may someday work, didn't. But he got to meet his 4th grandchild a few months back, and celebrate a 70th birthday. He died Saturday morning, and Paul is broken up.

Eric and Barry, my brothers from college who remain so close over the decades, reached out to Paul. He really appreciated it -- hearing from the generation behind his. Barry had met Frank, and Paul's daughter Tracy's wedding in NYC. That led to my favorite memory of Frank.

I guess the wedding was 12 Summers ago. We all stayed at the Ritz Battery Park. There was a vodka fueled rehearsal dinner at Sammy's. The wedding was gorgeous -- Brooklyn Botanic Garden, which Stuart made memorable for nearly missing it, and running comically ahead of the wedding procession to just make it to his seat ahead of the first parade member -- sweating in the NYC July heat.

The day after the wedding, Barry and Paul, and Frank and I ended up at a table right in Battery Park, drinking coffee. The two dear friends and roommates from GW and the two dear friends from UM, 11 years younger, comparing notes on parenthood and careers. There were no grandkids yet.

It was a cool (for July) foggy morning. We sat for a few hours. Barry and Frank shared tales of modern medicine, and its shortfalls. But mostly it was a fraternity of 4 men who knew our true measure was how we take care of our families. And we were all elite in that regard -- the 8 kids who had us as Dads were, and are, fortunate indeed.

It remains such a happy and wistful memory for me -- the way I'll always remember a great natured, brilliant, loving, and funny man -- above all, a great Dad, husband, and true friend.

Frank's memory will be a blessing.

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