So I've long been a Lexus owner/leasee. Years ago, my roommate Mark, very much into cars, said Lexuses were like appliances -- solid, steady performers and boring as hell. He's correct, and now that I no longer need to impress clients with expensive cars, solid, steady, and boring is precisely what I want from my vehicles.
Friday night, at D2's birthday, my sons in law and daughters said I ought to get a new vehicle. I'm so generous with everyone else -- why don't I treat myself to something more exciting than my car, which is essentially a Toyota Camry with nicer trim? The answer is I have zero desire to. I went through a period of having Jaguars, 7 Series BMWs, Cadillac SUVs and sedans, and even a "Weekend car," a bright yellow T Bird convertible that I sold for what I paid on account of Wifey's back prevented her from riding in it.
Nope -- we bought Wifey's '16 RX off lease, and my girlie sedan is due in June -- I plan to buy it and keep it for at least a few years. Car issues are something I have zero desire to deal with.
Today I brought my ES in for a 15K service. I've been going to Isaac the service advisor since my first Lexus in the mid 90s. He's terrific -- honest and knowledgeable. For example, he told me to NOT get an oil change -- the synthetic oil lasts a lot longer than the traditional one, and it would have been a waste of money. We compare notes on aging, and I always take the time to write him a sterling review.
The sales part of Lexus of Kendall is a horse of a different color. Four years ago I swore I would NEVER do business with them, after a nasty affair with Patti, my longtime salesperson.
Between cars we leased or bought, and people I referred to Lexus of Kendall, I estimate I'm responsible for 20 deals. Not too shabby. In 2019 I decided to buy Wifey's SUV off lease, since he mileage was so low, and the payoff was lower than the car's value. I went in with the lease contract, and prepared to write a check for the residual value plus sales tax.
There was a $900 "dealer fee" on the invoice. I told Patti it was a mistake -- I HAD a contract stating what the car cost -- there was no additional fee. She called over the manager, and he tried to corporate speak me -- I honestly treated his words like he was a barking dog. I got up, walked out, and told them to expect a lawsuit for fraud and conversion. I got to my car, and Patti came -- tapping on my window.
"Well, since you ARE such a good and loyal customer, my manager agreed to waive the fee." Oh -- you did me he kindness of not trying to steal from me? I paid the correct amount, and told Patti to NEVER contact me again -- I was a simple man, and once someone showed dishonesty, I was done with them forever.
She understood, she said, and so never called. Ha. As if! A few months later, she called to tell me about the exiting new line of 2020 cars! I sternly reminded her to no me jodas. She's a Mexican Jew and understood.
Well, today when I got home, Lexus of Kendall called. I thought maybe I left something in the service area. Nope -- it was Esteban, the newly minted "VIP manager of sales." He knew I just visited for service, and wanted to see if he could "get me into a 2023 ES for what I'm paying now." They really still talk this way, apparently.
I asked Esteban if Patti still worked there. Yes -- she was one of his top salespeople -- and his notes showed I was a long time customer. I guess the notes left out the ugly divorce.
I told Esteban that Patti and I had a love child together, I raised said child, and for years she has been avoiding paying me child support -- she owes it on account of how much money she earns as a top saleswoman. I told Esteban when Patti settles her account with me about baby Esmerelda -- maybe we can talk cars.
Poor dude -- he didn't know whether to crap or go blind, to use one of my former boss Ed's favorite expressions. I 'm guessing I won't be hearing from them again for awhile.
So rock on, Lexus of Kendall service. Feh, Lexus of Kendall sales. Elephants and I never forget.
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