So the enormous puppy Betsy is staying with us, and she loves to romp with other dogs. In her usual home of Coconut Grove there are plenty of opportunities, and then here, she met Jagger.
Jagger is a Lab/Golden mix, and when the two dogs get together, it's joyful to watch. Jagger was being dog sat by her owner's daughter's boyfriend Jeremy, a recent UF Aerospace Engineering grad. I asked him if he had one of those great T shirts that read "As a matter of fact, I AM a rocket scientist." He did not, but loved the idea. When Jeremy was here, Jonathan and he would meet daily and the dogs would romp.
Alas, Jeremy is gone, and Jagger's Mom, Daria, only walks in the afternoons. Betsy runs up to the house when Jagger is inside alone, and wags her tail. Jagger emits a lone, sad, "woof."
Last night, D2 and I were walking Betsy, and, sadly, Jagger was unavailable. But as we walked down a street, I saw our strange, malcontent neighbor whom I'll call Lisa -- not her real name. It should be Karen, as she is always complaining about something or another, and has many "contacts" with the Village she uses to turn people in for real or perceived offenses. I typically avoid her, but she does have a sweet retriever, and so I led D2 and Betsy towards her and asked her to go get her dog for a playdate.
"Oh no -- he's inside sleeping." D2 and I did a double take, and should have just nodded and kept walking, but instead, for no particular reason, like Forrest Gump, we stayed to let Betsy run in the grass area in front of her house, after she warned us off her lawn having "just sprayed for bugs."
As Betsy ran, Lisa began her monologue about her life and kids. I now know her youngest works in private equity and was making $150K per year here, but is moving to Boston to make $350k per year.
If she and her husband, who I'll call Ray, since that rhymes with his real name, had only sent their kids to public schools, they would have had "another $2M in their retirement accounts." Her older son works at the finest law firm in Miami, and her daughter attended a very expensive private law school and now works for the State of Florida along with her husband.
Of course, she never once asked D2 anything about herself or her life, nor her husband's, nor any of my family. It was as if she felt we were privileged to hear first hand about the greatness of her family.
Well -- boring braggarts like her bring out the worst in me. I pointed out that had she paid car dealers instead of the private schools, she'd have a driveway full of exotic cars instead of the boring Lexuses. And, I told her in detail about an old friend who mortgaged his house to send his daughter to Duke, only to have her graduate and get her first job on Brickell alongside a fellow hire who had attended FIU.
I even said "What????! You paid 1/4 million to send your daughter to a private law school, and she works for the state???" No -- she corrected me. It was more like $350K if you factored in her expensive rent and travel and expenses.
D2 and I and Betsy walked away chuckling. I figured my passive aggressive jibes had done the trick.
And then...Just this am I was walking again, on the phone. There was Lisa, this time with the dog on a leash. She ignored the fact that I was on the phone, and said "Oh great -- I'll walk with you."
I told her I was on a "private call involving high levels of security in the US government" and turned around and walked the other way. I think she believed me.
Ah, people. Recently D1 was honored as a local health care leader in South Florida. They interviewed her, and asked her most important advice. She credited me with teaching her to always be a student of human nature. I was proud.
Sadly, Lisa is never a student. She can't stop talking about herself and her family. What a bore.
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