Sunday, April 4, 2021

If I Give You $50, Will You Promise Not To Tell Anyone You Live in My Town?

 Ah, stupidity. It's all around -- seemingly more apparent than ever before, due to social media. I guess in the old days, true dumb asses had to speak in public or write letters, and since they were too stupid to do so, they remained, rightfully, in the dark. No more!

A few months ago, one of my cousins posted something so absurd on my page, about politics, I was tempted to make him an offer: I'll send you $1000 if you promise to never tell anyone we share any DNA. Instead, I took the cheaper route, and simply unfriended him on FaceBook.

Well, tonight I met Stupidity again, and this time it was actually pretty funny.

I belong to a FaceBook (tm) group related to Pinecrest. It's mostly a breezy site -- neighbors sharing good and bad contractor experiences, restaurant reviews, local advice, etc... I've actually gotten a few good leads from the site -- including a one armed marble floor polisher. Really.

We had the guy over to give us an estimate to polish our floors. He had one arm. Of course, I said nothing, but he volunteered he lost his arm in an accident, but not to worry -- he worked with an assistant and did a fine job.

Wifey thanked him, and, like all contractors, said she would be getting a few more quotes and would let him know. He started to leave. I told him to wait.

I took Wifey aside, and said "REally? We would hire anyone else over a one armed guy willing to do this job? If he's a few hundred dollars more -- so what?" Wifey quickly agreed, and we hired him. He did a fine job.

So tonight, I saw a post from a neighbor wanting to share a good experience he had with a septic tank contractor. They had done a fine job at a great price. The writer also mentioned that the business was Black owned, from Opa-locka, and he felt good about that. Oh boy.

Some of the responders applauded him, but many asked -- what the hell does race have to do with anything? One poster I know, a local journalist named Michael Miller, asked if it was ok to say "Oh -- and by the way, my contractor is white owned, so you should feel good about that."

I usually stay out of these kerfuffles, but I figured I'd inject obvious humor. So I posted "It's all good. Just find the #1 company in a #2 business." Well -- the original poster, named Dal, responded that he didn't know what I meant -- he was SAYING he found the number one company, and in fact had met with FIVE others.

I responded that it was a joke. He needed to Google the meaning of "#2" and it would become clear, I hoped.

Last I checked, he deleted his posts. I guess he realized he was in fact a dumb ass. Lord, as D1 says...

Meanwhile, we had a great day with the Little Man. Wifey and I fetched some great deli sandwiches from Bagel Bar East, in Sans Souci. I am thinking they may in fact be better than Mo's Bagels. This is serious business to me -- Jewish delis are my cultural birthright, and for me to say that is big. But in fact the corned beef sandwich was awesome -- as was the matzoh ball soup. Bagel Bar -- you may have won us over.

D1 napped, and Joey worked, and Wifey and I took the Little Man across the street to his friend Tomas's house. They were holding an Easter Egg hunt. There were 4 toddler boys -- all born between October of '19 and January of '20. The cuteness factor was off the chart. Everyone there, except for us, was Venezuelan American, and were simply delightful. We talked sports, and politics. The little guys took apart the plastic eggs.

Tomas has a medical condition first identified by Dr. Barry: GLM. That stands for "good looking mother." She's a lovely young woman, too -- made us very welcome, as I drank my Modelo beer.

We went back across the street, and spent some quality time, and then left for home. April -- so far, so good. Hope it continues.

May the #2 in life remain on social media pages -- even those commented upon by those with no idea what that means.

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