The Leader of the Band

is, in my opinion, the best Father's Day song of all time. "Oh My Papa" is too old for me, and, as I pointed out to the Ds this am, "Cat's in the Cradle" is the WORST! Anyway, my day began wonderfully. The strange rescue dog clumsily scampered up the stairs, followed by the spoiled spaniel. Wifey and D1 had coffee, the Sunday Herald, and eggs, a muffin, and fruit and yogurt. D2 and her boyfriend Jonathan slept in --he in the football room, and she in her room. We run a respectable house here! Jonathan left for Aventura and HIS Dad's day. The Ds are here -- we're off to see a new comedy, "The End," and an early dinner. I am one cool, happy, rockin' daddy in the USA. But there's sadness, too, of course. I last honored MY beloved Dad on Father's Day in 1982. I don't remember what we did. Probably we drove to the beach in Delray, and walked along the ocean. Dad loved that. Maybe we ate corned beef sandwiches -- his favorite. He'd die just about a month later -- in July of '82. I miss his counsel so. I miss his sense of humor. I miss his wisdom. Most of all, I miss his love. After he died, I had to become the man of the family. I was just turning 21. In many ways -- this forced me to become successful -- I know that. But I also feel robbed of the freedom of being a boy longer. My friend Stuart is nearly 53, and still has that luxury. His Dad Bill is his best friend , and always there for him -- to help, counsel, rescue. I love spending time with the two of them. Their playful and loving banter reminds me of time with MY father. Stuart always jokes about how he wishes he had MY money -- and my lifestyle. In a very crucial way, for the past 31 years, he has been a far wealthier man than I. Dad would have been 94 this year. Like Fogelberg, I often feel that my life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man -- my father. In any major decision, I think "WWHD" -- what would Hy do? It's why I supported my California sister for many years -- buying her and her boys cars, putting the youngest through college, rescuing her from countless perils. Dad would have done it, so I did it. In 1989, after my partner Paul's father died, he got a note from Ed Perse -- my mentor as a lawyer. I remember the words of the note verbatim. Ed was a master of language -- the classic practitioner of conciseness. He wrote: "I was about your age when I lost my father. I don't know that I ever got over it. I feel for you." Ed knew, and said it best. He would die just 5 years later --in his early 60s, like my Dad was. Well, my father died 31 years ago this coming July 14th. July 14th is also Ed's son Mike's birthday. As the great James Joyce wrote -- connections abound -- they're everywhere. I think about my father every single day. Today, Father's Day, it's more intense. I miss him terribly. I love you, Dad. I appreciate the love you gave me, and the guidance. You taught me the measure of a man. All I do as a father, I do in your memory and honor. Happy Father's Day, Hy Auslander.