Changing Lives

Probably about 10 years ago, my friend and law partner Paul convened a meeting including me, Dr. Barry, and our appellate lawyer Todd. We sat in an empty restaurant in the Mandarin Oriental on Brickell Key --discussing our lives. Paul and Todd had taken a course from Forum, I think it's called --one of the spinoffs of EST, from the late 60s. It was all about self actualizing, and making one's life better, and Paul thought our foursome, of distinguished gentlmen, was a good place to start. The 4 of us were all cracker jack Dads, so no major changes were needed there, and Barry, Todd, andI were in long term marriages, while Paul was single. But we talked about what projects we could do to make the world better, using our manifold talents. Yesterday I spoke at lenght with Todd. He made the most changes: sold his house, and moved to Boulder, Colorado -- a place he and his wife long admired for the hippie vibe, and title of most bookstores per capita. Todd signed up for classes, and last year got degrees in psychology and massage therapy -- he is building a touch therapy practice in his town. His wife started a gluten free cookie company, and just made it onto the shelves of some major stores. He still practices law part time, but wants to, as he said, cure people for a living instead of just helping lawyers make more money. Paul also made changes. He spends many hours each week volunteering and mentoring inner city kids. He appears in court as a guardian ad litem, and goes deep -- he spent the other night preparing a teen for summer camp by buying her hundreds of dollars worth of camp supplies -- out of his own money. Barry also took on more jobs. He's now chief medical officer of his hospital, and mentors hundreds budding pediatricians. He thinks there "must be more to life" than what he does -- and his career is the noblest of anyone's I know. He has literally saved childrens' lives, and taught many others how to do the same -- but the politics and pathology of his large public hispital drag him down. And tonight, I'm taking out my sibling from another mother, Mirta, to celebrate. At close to 50, she went back to school full time, and graduates this am top of her nursing school class. She wants to do hospice work -- the most avoided and needed of nursing, and judging by how she handled my Mom's final weeks, with care and love that exceeded all expectation, she'll soar. I'm so proud of my three friends. So many go through life with excuses about why things aren't better --the classic "I coulda been a contenda!" whine. They'd have succeeded, if only ( ) --the blank varying, but always including someone other than their sorty self. So today I celebrate Paul --for truly changing lives in the poorest and toughest part of town, for Todd, in having the courage to shed the comfort zone to pursue his dreams, and for Mirta -- starting over in the middle of the game, and on her way to professionally bring comfort to those most in need of it. And Barry -- well, may he just appreciate his own heroism a bit more, at least once in awhile.