Start Worrying. Details to Follow.

Today's Herald has a pullout ad entitled "Hurricane News." As I read it's infomercial articles, at first I thought it was a Stephen Colbert-like satire. Unfortunately, no such luck.

It was a prospectus of sorts for a new project being built near my office called Brickell Bunker. IT promises to be a hurricane proof building, with its own water system, generators, etc... But --here's the rub: it's a condo hotel, where investors buy a unit that's then managed as a corporate suite-type hotel. When the Big One approaches --the tenant agrees to GET OUT and leave the bunker for the rich owner! How delicious is that?!

It's a hotel/apartment that says, essentially, you can live here for your paltry rent, but when the going gets tough, the rich owners get to save themselves and their crap (pets are allowed only to the owners during a storm) and you lower castes go wander around in the whirlwind! I love it!

Look --I'm a rich guy, and I realize I'm no one to criticize the ways of other rich guys. Still, I guess I can't escape my populist upbringing, where I was taught things like cutting in line is wrong.

I really don't go to Miami Heat games for this reason. The AAA, where they play, is set up like the Roman Collisseum. The rich folks literally do not come into contact with the "lunchpale Irvings" who only buy regular tickets. The place is so economically stratified that it makes you want to become a Socailist. Plus, the Heat aren't going to win any more championships.

When I grew up and went to my first Mets games, it was always clear that being a Mets fan transcended your economic station. I actually met and spoke to my first real Black people at a Mets game --city guys who sat next to me, a kid from the all white suburbs.

I have great seats at the ORange Bowl, but someone with the cheapest seats there actually knows he's in the same stadium as I am. Not so the AAA, and not so the Canes new home, the corporate convention center they're moving to next year.

Back to the other type of hurricanes, and this Brickell Bunker thing. Can you imagine what happens when Sergio Garcia, the rich developer, is waiting to move in with his wife and 3 kids, who he's just picked up from Columbus High, and Lourdes Academy, and Tom Wilson, the IT guy from Chicago who's staying in Garcia's unit, says "I ain't leaving --I got no where to go!" Curses will fly in Spanish and English, as Garcia tries to get his real estate lawyer to file an eviction action AHORA, as the category 5 is making a beeline for Brickell. Will the Miami cops forcefully boot out Wilson?

I love living here.