Our Place In Line

 I was out walking this am, and it was a tad cooler than usual, a "feels like" temp of 88. I got in 6.7 miles, and I thought a lot about our place in the Big Man's line.

On Friday, my dear friend Dana's mother Barbra died. Her passing wasn't unexpected, and yet, when someone dies, there's always something of a shock. Here, and then no longer here.

Barbra loved her family fiercely. When I spoke to Dana Friday night, at our Zoom together, I recalled a story that said it all.

It must have been three years ago -- Barbra and Ron, her husband of forever, were at one of our tailgate parties. Barbra was no fan of alcohol. I don't think she had any drunks in her family, or any history, she just opposed things that weren't healthy and had no positive value.

I was probably 3 or 4 drinks in, and at the point of the party where I like those around me to be cutting loose, too. Dana is always firmly in control, and enjoys an adult beverage at the tailgates, and we all love it when she gets a bit buzzed. I noticed she wasn't drinking, and I asked if she would maybe like Norman to fix her a cocktail. She said she would. So I, Mr. Bad Influence, retrieved the drink, and handed it to Dana.

Barbra confronted me. "I thought you LOVED my daughter!" Of course I did, I replied -- she's been one of my sisters in life since 1983. "Well then why would you give her ALCOHOL????!!!!"

Dana must have been 53. At first, I was annoyed -- I never enjoy someone telling me what to do, and I never appreciate someone killing my buzz. I laughed it off, but then I re-thought it: here her daughter was herself the mother of grown kids, and close to grandmother status herself, but to Barbra, she was STILL her little girl. Wow -- parent crap never ends...

As I said -- she loved her family fiercely. And did -- until the end. At the Zoom shabbats Eric and Dana hosted, Barbra would give the blessings of the children. And it came from her heart.

She was very strong. I guess it's her stock -- her mother survives her, at 103. Barbra beat back cancer several times.

In July of '18, I chartered a sailboat for a sunset cruise for my birthday, and hosted Eric and Dana and Barry and Donna. Dana told us the news -- the cancer had returned. Eric thought this time it would be just a matter of months. Instead, Barbra got more than 2 years.

In that time, she saw her second grandchild marry. She saw the birth of a great granddaughter. And she was with her beloved family for more precious time. Not a bad way to go out.

We all die, of course. It's just a matter of when we are called to that final line. Barbra's call came 2 mornings ago.

There's a Zoom memorial for her this afternoon. Wifey and I will attend. Barbra lived a very full and meaningful life. She was no "shrinking violet," as her family said -- you always knew where Barbra stood. She shared her feelings and thoughts. Her family respected and loved her.

She will be missed.