With the Very Old...It's Always Something

Ah, the sage observation of Gilda Radner's SNL character proves true again -- it's ALWAYS something...

So yesterday Wifey and I arrived at our Palmetto Bay condo for the weekly visit with her ancient Mom.  The old bird was in great spirits -- the Celexa has kicked in fully, and leveled out the awful behavior.  I watched some of the Fins game, while Wifey caught up with paperwork -- including new warnings from the condo that parking enforcement is coming BIG -- cars without stickers will be towed.  I hope Wifey gets around to getting the new stickers for herself and Gloria, the aide -- I already hear calls coming from the tow yard: "Daaaaaavid...."

Anyway, we left for lunch at LOL, and on the way out my suegra dropped something.  Wifey and I marveled that she bent over to pick it up like nobody's business -- her mobility is remarkable.  It was a portent...

The Fins won on the LOL tv, and the patient Israeli server smiled as always...I always tip her big, to thank her for her graciousness with my mother in law and her less than subtle requests:  "COFFEE! Hot!"

We returned to the condo, and I decamped to the TV to watch more football, and Wifey showed her mother pictures of the Ds.  Then we left.  We got to the car and Wifey realized her mother's leftover bagel was never brought in.  She returned to the condo -- good thing she did.  The old woman was sprawled out on the floor next to the couch, oying away like a comical scene from Yiddish theatre...

She had gone to close the curtains Wifey and I always open when we arrive, and tripped over the wheel of the wheelchair we store in a corner of her living room.  She was on her back -- unable to move.

Wifey has a bad back, and didn't even attempt a rescue lift.  Last time I lifted her 250 lbs or so, I stretched out MY back, but I couldn't leave her on the floor.  So I got behind her, got my hands right into the fleshy maw of her armpits, and lifted, using my legs and still remaining strength.  We got her into a wheelchair, and then to bed.  She was in a lot of pain, but I could tell it wasn't her hip -- she had supported her weight too well during the transfer.

Wifey got her a pain pill, and the plan was to leave Wifey there overnight.  I left to watch even more football...

An hour later, Wifey called.  The pain was unbearable.  I told her to call the paramedics.  Shortly afterwards, three handsome fellows arrived and took the old woman to Jackson South -- Wifey along for the ride.

Around midnight, after a CT scan and X rays, the verdict: several broken lower ribs, and a little fluid on a lung.  They kept the old bird and admitted her.  I fetched Wifey around 12:30 -- she fell fast asleep.

I assume they'll keep my mother in law in the hospital a few days, and then she'll return home for the healing -- broken ribs take 4-8 weeks.

My mother followed this pattern, too -- falls with increasing frequency, until the final one where Dr. Eric noted that my mom was not eating -- her albumin level was dangerously low.  Since I lived too far away from her to supervise aides -- it earned her a trip to Miami Jewish Home, where she lived for her final 11 months.

Ain't nothing starvin' about my mother in law.  Her girth amazes me each time I note it -- I just never see wildly obese 92 year olds toddling around...

So we may just have to consider increasing the aide from half time to full time...with what we're paying Gloria to attend 40 hours per week, there won't be too much of an increase for a live-in...

Wifey has been talking to our friend Susan -- her 90 something Dad lives alone, albeit luxuriously in Deering Bay.  He needs a live in, too, but is resisting.  Wifey suggested Susan find a pretty young Swedish woman -- maybe the old man will change his tune.  For my mother in law -- maybe one of those young firemen in training?

The lesson is obvious -- aging sucks...live for youth...