The Sandwich We've Had Plenty Of

So Wifey and I remain members of the so-called Sandwich Generation -- typically late Baby Boomers still very involved in their children's lives and at the same time having to care for elderly parents.  For us, this has been going on for quite some time, and it's getting to be a tired routine.

When we tell people that Wifey's mother is still alive, at 92, most nice people exclaim "You're SO lucky!  I lost MY mother when she was only..."

So last Sunday, the old bird had another fall, and after a few nights in the hospital, was moved to a rehab facility.  They placed her in St. Anne's, down in Cutler Bay, which is owned by the Archdiocese in Miami.  Wifey's visited her each day, and I went along on Thursday night.

The facility is clean and well kept.  There's a LOT of Catholic iconography going on -- a chapel has lots of plaster saints -- and we got a kick out of the fact that our very Jewish relative is now there.  Unlike Miami Jewish, where my father in law and mother both spent their final days, there are no endless "Walls of the Ashkenazim" as my friend Jorge calls them -- entire hall sized placques with every comical Jewish name you can think of, all getting credit for donating money...

My mother in law's roommate is a nice lady named Lourdes -- looks to be a 60 something, Cuban-American, who has had a very bad result from a knee replacement.  She told us she's on her 5th surgery, and several more are planned.  I mentioned I was a lawyer, and Lourdes immediately started saying that her doctor was the best -- her situation was because of her own body rejecting implants, etc...I told her that kind of attitude could be FATAL for the medical malpractice industry -- a proud one that employs many thousands in South Florida alone...

Anyway, my mother in law is doing ok, although this last fall really spooked her.  As she ate the birthday cake Wifey brought, for her 92nd celebration, she told Wifey she's ready to go live in a facility -- she NEVER wants to be alone again.

So Wifey is scrambling again --Miami Jewish is pretty far from our house, and there are several places much closer.  I'm not sure my mother in law will meet the criteria for a nursing home -- Wifey thinks otherwise.  I guess we'll find out.

For the present, they're keeping her in the rehab place for 4 weeks -- so Wifey has until the middle of January to have plans in place.  A nursing home is easiest for us, of course -- knowing the old woman has 24/7 care takes the burden off of us.  Until now, she had made it clear she was NEVER going to "von of dose places."

Of course, my own Mom felt the same -- after I had her meet the Miami Jewish folks, and she was all set to move, when she was 91 or 92, she had me come to her condo and beg me to let her stay in her home.  I did, of course, and then, sure enough, a fall took her to the hospital for another stay, and it was "no more monkeys jumping on the bed..."  She entered MJH in May of '12 for the last 11 months of her life...

We'd really, really rather focus on our own Ds, and their lives.  We know we're blessed to have the time and financial resources to deal with Wifey's Mom.  I guess some fatigue over the whole thing is just setting in.

Today Wifey and I have plans to meet her friends Ronnie and Cara in the Gables -- they want to celebrate Wifey's birthday early.  Probably there'll be a trip to St. Anne's afterwards.  It's Sunday, so I 'm guessing the chapel in front will be buzzing...

The Big Man has been very great to me.  Let him give me many more years of life.  But for my kids' sake -- not TOO many...