The Day Before Another Milestone

So tomorrow I turn 55. Dennis Leary once said that there comes a time in a man's life when he needs to realize his birthday is no big deal except himself -- and that time is around age 7. I always liked his philosophy, but never really followed it. Our birthdays ARE big deals, as they're reminders of how many trips around the sun we've taken, what has been good about our lives, what has been bad. Paul and I always play a mind game with each other -- if the diagnosis comes back from the doctor saying you have only months to live, what do you do? In my case, the answer is simple -- little other than what I do now. I'm so incredibly fortunate to be amazingly close to my daughters -- no repairs needed there. In fact, my life's true work has been who I've been as a father, and I am damn proud of the outcome of that. So that's first. Wifey and I pledged to be shelters from the storms of life when we married. Check. Our shared values have made this easier than it's been for so many other couples I know. We've had peaks and valleys, of course, but yesterday we lay in bed together laughing. No change there. I was profiled in my college yearbook in 1982, and asked about my future career plans. I answered I had a "romantic scenario" -- practice law long enough to be financially secure, and then go do something else -- maybe teach English. Well -- the first part happened. I don't like the passive voice -- it didn't happen -- I made it happen, by surrounding myself with people better and smarter at law than I am, and coaching, and choosing wisely. And that law business helped many -- overpaying those who went along with us, leaving long time secretaries with enough money to start their own businesses...Again -- check. The second part -- what to do next, is still a work in progress. The thing I didn't predict is becoming spoiled. When you don't need the money, doing things like teaching -- the having to grade paper part, and dealing with academic politics -- makes the rest of it unappealing. I'll figure something out -- maybe someone will open a tavern, and need a host or concierge. Now THAT would be fun. I have friends who I savor. Some have fallen away as life moved forward, and that's ok. Wisdom is learning that some friends are situational -- having shared interests that change, leaving little basis for the friendship. But some have endured, and they're the best. I soar when they soar, and they soar when I soar. If they envy me and wish me bad -- I cut them out of my life like the rotten part of an apple. Earlier in the summer, I indulged a need for some nostalgia. D2 endured this need -- we drove to Long Island, and poked around my childhood and adolescent haunts. We spent the afternoon with one of my earliest friends -- Mark -- and his wife and son. Mark and I realized why our friendship has endured nearly 50 years -- he, too, is an extremely grateful man. His main focus is his son and his wife. He's worked hard, and built a wonderful home, in tree lined Dix Hills. And he and Rita, his high school sweetheart, still laugh together -- a lot. Marrying well truly is the basis of a good and happy life. So no huge plans for tomorrow. D1 and her man Joey and Wifey and I have plans to travel to the Palm, which makes the best steak in Miami, as well as martinis "this freaking big." Whenever I order my favorite drink, I think about my mentor Ed, Mike's Dad, who turned me on to them in 1984, and described a proper one that way, as he held his hands vertically about 7 inches apart. I hope I have many more years on this mortal coil, and really get to enjoy the true cherry on top of the sundae -- grandkids. They'll be the 1A of my life work -- I already know this. In the mean time, I thank the Big Man, as I do several times a day. I can already taste that NY Strip...