What's Become of Us

My partner Paul's mother Lillian had a serious fall at her ALF, and broke her hip. She's about 5 years into a diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease. Lillian, unlike my mother, was a very sharp witted, bright, get it done type of lady. I have a sense she was the tough partner in her long marriage to Paul's father, and George, who built a successful business, was no shrinking violet either. Paul and his sister are now dealing with the tough choices I dealt with 3 months ago -- putting Lillian into a nursing home, where she will spend her final days. Paul's been shuttling between the hospital and home, making arrangements, and hoping the choices he must make for his mother are the right ones. He and I reminisced about a few years ago, when our firm was in full power and swing. We were signing up huge cases, and wining and dining referral sources. We were celebrating our wins in a BIG way -- taking whole groups of people to Vegas and shuttling everyone around in limos to the finest restaurants and shows -- picking up every tab. We were big guys... And Paul lamented -- what's become of us? Dealing now with skilled help for our fading mothers, instead of concierge staff at Ritz Carltons... Well of course the answer is -- not much of a change. We agree, Paul and I, on the deepest of values. We worship the words of the great Sidney Poitier -- the measure of a man is how he takes care of his family. That's what's become of us. Of course, taking our kids to Europe, and stating in 5 star hotels, is the best part of taking care of them -- let alone sending them to college and grad schools with no worry of supporting themselves as they become grown ups. D1, to my pride, gets this. As she got ready to board the 777 for her flight to London last night, her last words to me were "Thanks, Daddy, for making this life possible." The older side of care for we sandwich generation guys is much less pleasant, of course, but it's still who we are. So here's to a speedy recovery for Lillian, and peace and dignity and comfort for her and Sunny. It's the most sons can give, and we give it well.