Just Lucky I Guess...

So last night it rained and rained, and we decided to forego the visit to see fireworks. D2, younger and more hardy, went with her friends, but we ended up staying home.

We invited Dr. Dave and his wife Maureen, and extended the invite to a friend of theirs named Marlene, who was going to meet us in Grove. Then, I remembered that Lili was home alone, as her husband is taking a month long class in Israel, so I asked her to come along, too.

Dave and I drank vodka and bourbon, and the ladies drank wine, and we ordered in the traditional Fourth of July pizza. We watched fireworks in TV.

Dave told us that he just took over a fellow concierge doc's practice, in a 3 way swap. A Key Biscayne doc had to retire at 45, as the poor fellow's dying of a brain tumor. Dave's fellow South Dade doc is taking over the Key Biscayne practice, and Dave is taking over the other Kendall practice. He starts on August 15.

One of his new subtenants is Mike Aptman, a neurologist. I know him because he was a notorious "defense doc," who over his career made hundreds of thousands of dollars examining litigants for insurance carriers, and testifying they were fine, or at least that their injuries weren't related to their accidents. Since he's a respected and well trained neurologist, his opinions have helped many defense lawyers win their cases. But, in 1995 he suffered all of our worst nightmares --his daughter was killed at college.

This happened 15 years ago. Melissa was about to graduate from Wash U in St. Louis, when she and a friend went to a Cinco de Mayo celebration in Dogtown, which I understand is the trendy, hip part of St. Louis. She and her friend were carjacked by 2 "residents" of the ghetto, both were raped and robbed, and both were shot.

Melissa was killed; her friend survived. They caught the animals who did it, and I think both got life sentences. Apparently the other young woman recovered and went to law school.

The Aptmans got the feared call, home in Miami. Instead of heading to Wash U for a college graduation, they had to fly there to claim a body. Melissa was 22.

The parents went on to found an Institute in their daughter's memory, which teaches no violence and literacy to would be future criminals. The Institute is impressive --it now conducts programs in several cities, and Melissa's younger sister, a few years ahead of D1 at Palmetto High, works for them.

In researching the whole affair, I came upon a journal article Michael wrote in "Neurology," about his experience. He talked about how he lived for his family, and thought he could build "walls around them high enough" to keep out the evil of the world.

I live the same way, somehow thinking I can keep my Ds safe, too. I guess all loving parents feel the same way..

In my practice, I've dealt with probably 50 parents whoce children have died. They never get over it. I'm always amazed they carry on as well as they do.

Parents die, spouses die, and it's the natural order of things. When a child is lost it flies in the face of all we think is fair and right.

I have a feeling that I'll get to talk to Michael Aptman again, now that he shares space with Dr. Dave. The last time I saw him, my partner deposed him for several hours about his opinion that our client's back injuries weren't related to a major car crash.

It's truly more important, above all else, to remain lucky in life...