Efficient Germans

 As I age, I've become more OCD about some things -- and finances are one of them. I love giving away money, and treating my family and friends generously, but I can't stand WASTING money.

This am I got an email from Chase saying that our account was debited for $1400 and change, on a "returned item." Hmmm.... I checked the transaction history going back several months -- sure enough -- no deposits for that amount. Was it a fraudulent debit?

I called the Chase number, and was placed with a succession of folks whose accents Wifey would NOT have understood.  Each told me I was in the wrong department -- after holds of about 10 minutes.

Finally, I got a fellow who said he COULD help. He told me right away that the item was a remote deposit (I make those from my phone all the time) from a YEAR AGO. What? As he continued his research, I expanded my search of the transactions -- sure enough, there was a deposit on August 4 of last year -- a check from the German government.

When the fellow came back on, I told him problem solved -- I knew what it was, but was it Chase's policy to simply believe a payor without contacting the payee? No -- but they did here, he said. They first heard from the German government in May, asked them for more backup, and just got it.

Damned Huns were correct!

My late suegra got monthly payments from Germany on account of the Nazis killed most of her family and made her a slave laborer. The payments were about $1400 per month. And now I recall what happened: she died on June 22, and the payment came in July 1. What the hell, I told Wifey -- the least they could do is make one extra payment -- they got away with her not dying 9 days later anyway -- then they'd have owed for July.

The truth is, many Survivor's families DO abuse the program -- collecting checks for decades after the Survivors die. I wouldn't dream of that, but figured one extra check wouldn't hurt -- and so we deposited it into the checking account.

Sure enough -- they realized they made the extra payment -- since Rachel died 9 days "early." Nazi bastards!

I guess these days, with so much data collection, it's not surprising. Our business with the Germans is now completed -- the helpful Chase fellow said we would be getting a letter of explanation from the German government explaining. Hopefully I'll be sober when it arrives and don't reply with Mel Brooks-like sarcasm. They have plenty of problems there anyway -- bet they wished they persecuted someone other than the Jews, in hindsight...

Meanwhile, I got a delightful call from my old friend Todd today. He lives in Colorado, and used to do work for my old boss Ed R. We swapped some classic Ed tales, and caught up on our families doings.

I told him he ALMOST got a call from me about meeting in Denver, where he lives -- I was going to be passing through there for a wedding, but I got disinvited, on account of my loutish behavior towards the mother of the bride. He laughed louder than I ever heard -- he just THOUGHT he knew me, I guess.

But as usual, he nailed the issue with our man's passing -- sometimes you hear about the death of someone from your past and just get along with your day -- but Ed was truly larger than life, and his passing demands more reflection.

I told Todd Paul and I would do that tonight at the Palm. He wished he could be along.

But Saturday OCD issue was solved -- thanks to the helpful phone agent at Chase. Ha. F-ing Germans. They got the last laugh.