True (Upper Class) Crime

Although crime in Miami and elsewhere in most places in the US except, apparently, Detroit and Baltimore, is down, we have been experiencing a wave of it worse than it's been in the past 15 years. No fewer than 10 houses have now had their cars "broken into," and stuff ranging from headphones to change taken. I put broken into in quotes, since all of the cars had been left open -- we've come to do that here. One car, a Range Rover, was actually stolen -- it had the keys in it. It was recovered, completely intact, in Wynwood, which tells me that our local criminals are trendy -- they hang in the coolest part of town. The likely culprits are teens -- school just ended, and left open cars are an easy target for quick change and property. And, it's not too hard to defeat our crack security. We use off duty FHP troopers. They work around 40-50 hours per week, and are supposed to stagger their hours to all times of the day. Ha. As if. Other than Saturday nights, where they stay late, they're always gone by 10 pm. So any teen criminal not completely a moron can observe that, and know they have free reign during the wee small hours... The neighborhood is understandably outraged. Wifey is Crime Watch Chair, and the emails have been flooding in and out. Of course, most everyone is really angry, but no one really wants to do anything. Compounding the ire against our security patrol, we all just received notice from the County about their cost -- paid as part of the real estate bill. Since a mistake was made and too little was charged last year, this year there's a 30% increase -- to nearly $2400 per house. Multiplied by 83 houses, residents feel we ought to be getting better service. While there were near zero incidents, everyone was ok just waving at the friendly troopers who tend to park in one place and rarely move. Now everyone wants ACTION! Years ago, I asked one of my firm's consultants, a retired police chief I'll call Fred, since that's his name, what he would recommend for our 'hood. He said that since we have zero violent crimes, except the unreported ones involving wives pumelling husbands behind closed doors, Fred thinks 24 hour unarmed patrols would be best. Guys in golf carts with the little yellow lights constantly on the move are a better deterrent than better trained, armed troopers who are there only a fraction of the time. I mentioned this at a community meeting, and was immediately skewered. It turned out that some of our nice old ladies had become FRIENDS with some of the troopers -- they saw them as their sons and daughters. And one politically incorrect fellow, a retired doc, reminded me that in the 80s they had a private company which was "a bunch of Julios riding around, and stealing more stuff themselves than they were preventing." So I shut up. I have a feeling that this latest wave will die out on its own, as the kid or kids responsible move on to other 'hoods. But, there will still be a flurry of rich, mostly white folks, anger, and emails, and fighting, and recriminations, and accusations. Something must be done! Meanwhile, D2, home for the summer, has made me promise to lock my car door -- even though we have a gate at the entrance to our house. I have complied. She also wants us to start using our functional burglar alarm. We set it the other night for the first time in probably 10 years, and sure enough, a huge T storm came by and a burst of thunder set it off. So I had the joy of waking up at 5 am and allowing D2 the laughter of seeing me run around in my drawers, looking for a land line to answer to tell the dispatcher not to sent the SWAT team. I called the company -- figuring we ought to update the contact list. Sure enough, one of our contacts, a married couple, was now divorced, and all the numbers we gave were landlines no one ever uses. So I updated the info. And now, I plan to sit back, and watch the neighborhood fireworks. One fellow, a tough lawyer who runs a large firm, already sent off a tough e-missive. And then his English language challenged wife followed up with a report that she was one of the victims -- jewelry stolen from her unlocked car. So the Summer is promising to be one of excitement, and entertainment. I want to decamp to North Carolina until things cool down...