The Law of No Conservation of House Expenses

As homeowners of nearly three decades, Wifey and I learned that while you sometimes save on something, you have to pay somewhere else. Such is my experience of yesterday. I researched pond fountains on the internet, and learned they START at $1300. Do after a solo breakfast at LOL, I ventured deep into the Redland, where my pond guy, Paul of Angel's Hatchery, does his business of selling fish and supplies. I always enjoy visiting the place -- he has tortoises and mini horses there, and it's relaxing to wander among the acres of concrete ponds, admiring the exotic species. But yesterday was all business! I had oxygen deprived koi and cichlids and pleckos waiting for me. Paul told me I could get by with a pump and aeration stone -- the pump only uses the electricity of a 60 watt light bulb, so it stays on constantly, and installation is simply running the air hose and dumping the stone (carefully, they cost $50) into the water. He said it was cheaper and better at oxygenating, though not as pretty as the fountain. Total cost: $750. I came home and plugged the thing in, and learned that I had insufficient hose. What man hasn't faced that realization, from time to time? So I went first to Home Depot and then Ace Hardware for extra hose -- another $40. Still, I had saved nearly half of what I thought I'd spend. Then the electrician came -- a fellow referred by one of my cop friends, who did the fellow a major solid by letting his wife pick him up after a DUI stop, instead of getting "hooked up," as they say in the trade. Billy senior came over with his son, Billy junior. I told him half of my garage was dead, including the essential outlet that powers the U Verse box. He moved the garage fridge, saw the receptacle was a GFI, popped it (we had a ligtning storm the night before) and Voila! --instant repair. I felt immediately stupid, for not checking this obvious thing, but Billy told me fridges should NEVER be on GFI circuits anyway, and will return to install a proper one. He only charged me half his usual fee. So I was saving all this money, until...as if on cue, I entered the family room to hear loud banging from the ac unit. It was 18. I knew it was dying. So I called Danny, the ac guy Norman and his family use, and he sent his man over a few hours later. Sure enough, need a new 4 ton unit --and the FPL generous rebate program ended in January, so instead of an $800 rebate, I get one of $267. So -- another $4600 will be spent tomorrow, and the third major unit is due to go any time now. What are ya gonna do? I was talking with my condo living friend Paul, and he reminded me that he pays close to $2k per month just to keep the pools and guards and staff paid. So either way, you have to pay. The floor guys are coming any minute -- they're installing a new floor in my football room -- in plenty of time before the season. Gotta go find the check book -- again...