Community

Last night Wifey and I attended our annual homeowner's association meeting, hosted by our neighbor Annette. Annette is a cool lady -- born in Colombia to an Italian American Dad, and Colombian Mom -- came to the US, and converted from Catholicism to Judaism to marry Eric, an American Jewish sports psychologist. Annette started a language translation business, and she and Eric had Sophie -- a delightful and adorable 2nd grader. Anyway, only about 15 % of the houses attended -- since things have been boring here. Our off duty FHP trooper, Corporal Jim, said there has been ZERO crime over the last 4 years. The silly crimes in 'hoods that surround us -- taking coins out of unlocked cars, for example, don't occur here because of our off duty troopers -- local teens figure it just makes more sense to not risk arrest or worse. Jim's a funny guy -- he said he held a pizza delivery guy who went to the wrong house at gunpoint. He was kidding, I think... We asked for volunteers to take over the exec board, and got none. So our neighbors Ben and Gloria were relected without opposition ("like the damn Clintons') joked Frank, a retired Federal contractor. Three ninety something widows attended -- really neat ladies who are still very active in their lives. One, Bobbe, was involved in the platting of the 'hood with her late husband, and used to host kick ass St. Patrick's Day parties. Ironically, she wondered aloud if maybe our welcoming chair (me) shouldn't greet new guests with a plant, instead of a bottle of wine, as these days some folks are alcohol free. I disarmed her with a tale of my task: a few years back, I enlisted Jeff to come with me to greet a new neighbor -- who lived 2 houses away. As we walked over, we talked about what if the new folks were Mormons or something, and my wine gift was offensive. We knocked on the door, and the man answered -- three sheets to the wind. As I handed him the bottle, he clumsily grabbed for it -- saying, in a slurred voice "Great! Thanks!" I knew I hadn't offended him. His wife was there last night, and Wifey cringed, lest she know I talked about her huaband. Oh well -- what are ya gonna do? There was a nice young fellow there, a lawyer originally from Philly, who married a Miami girl he met in Chicago, and they settled here. They have 2 daughters -- 6 and 3. Wifey asked if his wife was a stay at home -- he said she was. So Wifey realized this family was essentially us --17 years younger! That's a nice thing about our 'hood -- young families move in, as empty nesters leave -- sometimes! My neighbor Irv -- 92 and still sharp and spry -- ain't going nowhere. He and his young hottie wife Key (she was an Eastern Airlines stewardess -- and hates the term flight attendant) play golf every day, and attend most UM games. Kay is in her 70s, and clearly was a stunner back in the 60s -- wild, "CAtch Me If You Can" days in Miami... So boring is good. I guess a few armed home invasions, or shooting of peafowl, or excessive dog pooping might rally more neighborhood interest. I prefer things this way. Plus, the lone homeowner who has never paid his annual $150 voluntary dues, has moved! The techinical reason he has never paid is that he's our neighborhood asshole. But no more. It'll be interesting to see who moves in. I'll go over there with my bottle of wine -- or plant.