The Chill Weekend

 We had a rare grandson-free weekend, but since we get to see them all the time, it was fine. Joey took Little Man to Naples for the opening party of his brother's new soccer team, and D1 spent a lovely day with Baby Man doing local projects and visits.

Mike texted me Friday -- Chris had a wedding and couldn't attend the Pitt game on campus -- was I in? I was, and I fetched Mike, we drove to the U and parked in his preferred spot, and then went into the Hurricane 100 Room for pregame food.

Mike's Dad and his partner Arnie were founders of the new arena, and Mike took over, and part of the benefit is entrance to the room -- there's a bar there, and they serve food during ACC games. Mike is doing Dry January, like a surprisingly high number of my friends -- so no cocktails -- but still a nice time.

We walked past some hip hop guy who had attracted a big crowd, though I had zero idea who he was, and found our seats next to Arnie and Ronnie -- nice to catch up with them. We spied Norman and his Dad Max across the arena -- and it warmed me: Max is 97 and still up to attending. Norman is a lucky son, indeed.

The Canes dominated, and with about 10 minutes left, Mike left -- Loni and Chris and Rachel were fetching him for an early dinner. I watched another 5 minutes, saw the Canes had a comfortable lead, and pulled a classic old man move: leaving early to avoid any traffic. It worked, and the Canes, via WVUM sportscast, began to unravel, but they stayed ravelled enough to win by 4 points.

Sunday I got in my 10K steps, and got a FaceTime from Josh, to share the "vibes" of the Miami Half Marathon after party with me. There was no after party for my walk, but I DID take my first bike ride in awhile -- now that D2 and Jonathan have taken back most of their garage clogging stuff, I have access to the bikes and air compressor again.

I cruised around, savoring my 'hood as I always do, reflecting on those who have come and gone in the 23 years we've lived here. Valentine's Day is approaching, and I always look back on VDay 2001. I set up a table on our front patio, plugged in a boom box, and brought in Di Napoli for Wifey and the Ds, as the dogs slept underneath us. It was a lovely evening, and I felt like a Kennedy in this house I still love.

We're planning another of those this VDay -- with Mike, Loni, Jeff, and Lili. I'll bring in soom Root and Bone and we can toast to all of us being together for now more than 4 decades -- how 3 boys met in grad school and somehow are now Dads to 7 (6 girls and one boy) , granddads to 3, with another due in June.Sunrise, sunset indeed.

Wifey had invited over her friend Ronnie last night, and I brought in the politically incorrectly named Takee Outee, and mixed Ronnie a few cosmos and myself a few clean martinis. We watched the end of the AFC Champ game, and the entire NFC champ game -- Ronnie loves football and drinking and so I love having her as a guest.

This am I drew Dryer Vent duty, on account of Wifey gets up after the fellow wants to come. We haven't had him come with the industrial vacuum to suck clean our duct in years, and I noticed the dryer in, in fact, not drying so well.

Years ago, we had him move the vent connection to a high spot behind the dryer, making for an easier cleanout. Hopefully he doesn't find any missing animals...

D2 told me D1 and her men invader her house yesterday, and they had a lovely time with the boys. I can't describe how happy that makes me -- their closeness. And the Ds are already all over the 'hood -- D2 reported that she spotted a Great Pyranees mix dog walking, and had been previously alerted by D1, who spotted the dog and its owner earlier. 

Yes -- North Dade is where it's at for them, and I love that.

But South Dade remains just fine with me...

Quotidian Week

 Nothing much happened the latter part of this week, which, as my Dad used to say, was just the way he liked it!

Wifey did give us some future lore, yesterday. D1 had asked her to fetch the Little Man from school, and Wifey got confused and fetched the Baby Man instead. D1 aged a bit when she rolled up a few minutes after Wifey had gone, and asked for her toddler, to be told "Someone else just fetched him!" Luckily, Wifey sent a picture, so D1 knew her youngest was fine.

They met on Biscayne, D1 got the Baby Man, and Wifey went to get the Little Man. All's well...

In fairness, they DO kind of look alike...

It reminded us of a similar mix up, from D2's preschool days. The staff would deposit your kid into the car seat, which they did for Wifey, and she drove off, to hear a voice saying "You're not my Mommy."

Indeed, D2's lookalike  Tania had been placed -- they had identical haircuts, and truly looked a lot alike. Wifey drove back and picked up the correct child. Funnily, Tania and D2 ended up classmates and sorority sisters at UF years later. I don't think they got mixed up anymore...

We have a weekend planned of a lot of nothing. D1 and her men are busy, and D2 and Jonathan have lots of new house stuff going on. I will walk a lot and watch football, unless something else pops up.

Next weekend we have a birthday -- D2 turns 32. Negotiations are underway about the restaurant to celebrate. Last year it was Il Gabbianno -- this year the early indications are steak.

Wow -- 32. For me that was 1992 -- the year D2 was born. It was an amazing year for me -- made my first big money, converted all our crap into insurance cash thanks to Hurricane Andrew, and, most importantly, welcomed D2. Watching that beautiful baby -- wow -- I daren't have dreamed the amazing woman she'd become, with an amazing husband and very large dog. Life happens.

So there's beauty in the usual, as usual. I have a Zoom shabbat at 6 -- so I can have my first cocktail since Sunday not alone. Wifey may invite over Ronnie, who lives in Deering Bay -- she's a fine drinking partner, too, though Wifey will have to drive her home.

Here's to the usual -- may it continue.

Life's Too Short

 What a weekend we had! Friday Paul and Patricia hosted a stellar shabbat -- great food, martinis with a view of the Bay from their lovely balcony, and, most importantly, delightful friendship.

Saturday Joelle and Kenny came by near sunset, and I got a roaring fire going in the firepit -- one of my favorite possessions. I poured us cocktails, and we talked of our upcoming cruise -- from Barbados back to Miami. We toasted our kids and grandkids, and of times to come. Wifey drove us to Platea, best restaurant in Pincecrest, and we shared a steak and some fish and great sides. I even had a glass of Malbec, along with Kenny, to keep the lovely buzz going.

It was deliciously cool, and I lit another fire -- this time sitting alone with a hot herbal tea, thanking the Big Man, and thinking about a nasty business dispute. I had an epiphany.

I called Paul the following morning, and we agreed -- no fighting. We were right, and a young lawyer was taking big advantage of the fact that his name was on a contract instead of the colleague who was SUPPOSED to have signed -- but so what? Life's too short to fight over money. My dear friend Mirta would say that's spoken by a man with plenty of money -- but it's true. We agreed to resolve the matter as the young fellow wanted -- and I was to learn two nights later a reason for his aggressiveness instead of fraternity.

But Sunday came first -- and D1 and Joey brought Little Man and Baby Man -- and we spent a delightful afternoon -- "peacock hunts" around the 'hood, feeding the pond fish and turtles, and even some quiet time watching "Paw Patrol."

The Little Man has transformed amazingly the past 3 months -- from a pain in the tuches late toddler to a delightful, inquisitive little boy. He rarely has tantrums anymore, and can be reasoned with when he doesn't get his way. Baby Man is a delight -- happy and quiet -- his older brother does most of the talking.

Joey asked me to make some martinis -- and I laughed. I used to have to drink when I was with MY suegro -- to handle his aggressiveness. But Joey assured me he, instead, enjoys my company and getting buzzed together. I believe him.

After D1 drove away, Wifey and I collapsed -- having small kids is for young people. Mike told me he just ran into a former classmate of ours -- our age -- with a new wife and 2 year old baby. My hands sweated at the thought of that -- better Mike D than me!

Sunday night we had our HOA Exec Meeting, and discussed the 'hood. The Exec Committee is 7 post menopausal women and me -- never one who menstruated.  I try to keep things light -- a few of them get my humor, and at least one finds me cumbersome. I don't blame her.

And then last night I met Mirta, my sister of another mister. It was terrific to catch up -- her oldest boy moved to S Carolina with a girlfriend Mirta really digs. It's great to hear about him spreading his wings.

So the epiphany, like many, isn't really that profound -- life is too short to fight unless you truly have to.

And I need to remember the lesson I seem to keep forgetting -- true friends are rare. I need to pull in my inner circle -- and not think others are truly members.

The great Harry S Truman said that if you want a friend in D.C. -- get a dog. Probably the same is true of the practice of law. And that's just fine with me -- I like dogs!

Everybody Funny...Now You Funny, Too

 I've lost two fairly close friendships over my life, which I guess is not a bad record for this vicinity, to borrow from the naughty Irish limerick. Both ended because of money.

The older friend, a fellow I ran with in college, lived a colorful life -- 4 marriages to three different women. After his third divorce, where he paid wife #3 and #4 a ton of money, he came to me for a large loan, to start a business I knew would come under intense government scrutiny, on account of it relied on Medicaid and Medicare. I refused -- and asked why he didn't ask his ex, but soon to become new wife again, for some of the millions he had given her. He said she refused. She was very savvy.

Well, I said no as well, and he was terribly hurt that I turned him down. He wrote a long email explaining how hurt he was, and I told him I was sorry he felt that way. That was adios.

Later, I learned at lunch from an even older friend of his that he had blown off said friend while his wife, a mutual childhood friend, was dying of cancer. So I felt maybe I wasn't such a jerk for refusing the loan, afterwards. The good news is, I wished him well, and I think he's doing quite well.

The second loss was John, who I call Fredo, on account of his betrayal of our little group of lawyers. His treachery hurt deep -- and caused us years of annoyance, concluding with a trial where we recouped some of the losses from his actions. But I forgave him in my heart -- he's older and not in the best of health, and I assume I will learn of his death sooner than later. I won't go to his funeral.

And now presently there is an existential threat to two more friendships -- also about sharing fees. It isn't just about the actual numbers, but rather learning a younger lawyer I considered a friend and mentee harbored long held, totally incorrect thoughts about past dealings.

I want to think the fellow said these things as mere negotiation tactics, as when I pointed out my "broken promise" about a case close to 10 years ago wasn't a promise I could have even made, as his deal was with a lawyer other than me, he seemed to accept that.

We had a lot to do with his current spot, heading to a partnership with an even closer friend, and last night I asked the older guy to "leash his dog." My friend essentially shrugged his shoulders, saying he was powerless.

WHAT???? Back when this event took place, my friend was the fellow's boss, and in an episode of clerical incompetence, let the young guy sign HIS name to a contract instead of signing his own. And now we have a mess.

I was as upset last night as I've been in quite awhile -- much more about the potential loss of friendships than about the money. Money is important -- always is. Hell -- we just booked a cruise for early March, and Wifey told me last night she booked another one with her friend just over a month later. So I got bills...

And then I went to bed, and thought long and hard. I have to follow the advice of "Frozen" and let it go.

This matter will be worked out, or it won't. Hell -- I bought some new suits recently, to account for my corpulence, and if I have to wear them to court, so be it.

But tonight is shabbos, and we have great plans: Paul and Patricia are hosting us, with Dr. Barry and Donna and possible young Josh, at their place in Aventura. Paul and I have pledged to leave the unpleasantness outside, and focus on our manifold blessings.

Of course, the worst thing about living in Miami comes into play: traffic. What used to be a half hour drive is now 1.5 hours to get to Aventorture, as our friend Allison calls it. But that's ok -- there'll be a few stiff Stolis awaiting my arrival, and an evening with two of my brothers.

We all funny -- but in the good way -- laughter and warmth. And that's what I choose to embrace.

Ready For My Chippendales Closeup Now

 So wonderful Dr. Jeremy Green, dermatologist to the stars as well as my humble family, cleared me of skin cancer worries in December. I thought I was done with seeing him until next December, but I noticed a rather unsightly dark hyperpigmentation bump pop up on the side of my face, joining several others which were not as unsightly. I figured I would go for a facial, and get it removed, but Wifey and the Ds told me that was a job for Dr. Green.

I called on Monday, figuring I'd get in to see him in a few months, but the receptionist said there was a cancellation for the following day -- would I like it? Would I, would I, as my late Mom's favorite joke punchline went. So I was off to San Remo for the second day in a row.

On Monday, Norman was nice enough to invite me to go to the Panthers game with him, and I fetched him at his office, right across from Dr. Green's. We joked that we were celebrating MLK Day by watching the whitest sport there is, NHL, but indeed the Ducks have a single African American player. He, along with the sax player who played the national anthem, may well have been the only 2 black guys in the arena.

Still, we had a great time -- eating some decent kosher hot dogs and chilling, literally, in the stands. The Cats lost in OT, but we still had a great time.

I mentioned to Norman that if he had extra tickets later in the season, I'd love to take my grandson, since Norman had already outfitted him and his baby brother with Panther swag. Norman sent his 4 tickets and parking pass for a game in March, which happens to be Kids Day, and the family is VERY excited. My friends rock, despite being called assholes a few months back. I guess you can't please everyone.

Anyway, I drove back to the Gables, and told the receptionist and later Dr. Green's PA that I needed the unsightly tags removed since I was auditioning for the Chippendales, and they required no blemishes anywhere. I also had a large tag above my ample belly. The two ladies may have spit up their coffee, and I poker face asked what was so funny. Didn't they think a 50 lb overweight guy could be a Chippendale? Hadn't they seen the classic SNL skit where Chris Farley competes with studly Patrick Swayze for the final spot on the roster? The PA had, the receptionist had not, but she said she would, since she thought Farley was hilarious and Swayze hot -- RIP to both of them.

Dr. Green came in, and we deconstructed the Canes latest transfer portal moves -- agreeing the late QB pickup could be a game changer. He said he wanted a cut of any of my NIL earnings from the Chippendales, and I agreed, reminding him not to plan on any sort of real money from that endeavor, even following the Speedo calender they might well put together.

I went to pay the bill, figuring it would be north of a thousand dollars, as he charges for each surgical removal, and the checkout person said "$150 for today." He really digs me and my family -- hell -- for $150 some salons these days give you a haircut.

I immediately came home and went online with Big Daddy's Liquors in the Grove, and sent him a special edition Johnnie Walker Blue, with a card saying "The Best Whisky for the Finest Doc." Yeah -- he's my main man crush. He's also Wifey and the Ds main man crush -- boyishly handsome and charming.

So right now I look like was was in a knife fight with an assailant with a VERY small knife -- but I should heal in a week or so -- and be pretty again.

Meanwhile, on Sunday the family had a great Circle of Life time together. Wifey and I returned Betsy to D2 and Jonathan in their new house in the Shores! It's beautiful. Joey came by on bike with Baby Man, who happily toddled around the mostly furniture-free spaces. Jonathan came home from his new spot -- Home Depot -- and we three toasted. It was a beautiful new beginning.

Then it came time to honor the past. We gathered at the public Bay access at 96th Street as D1 scattered the cremains of her beloved Madeleine, and read inspiring words. The rain and wind kicked up, as if, D2 noted, the sky was crying. We huddled together and said our goodbyes, as the Little Man struggled with his pink umbrella in the wind -- thankfully not getting the gravity of the sadness of the moment.

We retired back to D1 and Joey's house, and brought in pizza, and toasted the passing of a great dog again.

After, I dropped D2 and Jonathan home -- the drive took 4 minutes -- and Wifey and I came home.

New beginnings and the passing of dear pets. 62.5 year old men still trying to look pretty. Yep -- plenty of stuff still happens.

Today is Just For Me

 People are funny -- few more so than my late Mom Sunny. Although she lost the love of her life, my Dad, when she was just 62, she lived a blessed life. Dad had left her financially secure, and given the high interest rates of the early 80s, she made very decent money without risk -- bank CDs did it for her.

She made a very full life for herself. She volunteered at Delray Hospital each week -- as a rather aged candy striper. She would transport patients, help with filing. She got multiple thousands of hours awards, and she took it seriously. Very little would allow her to miss those Fridays at the hospital.

Other than that, she had essentially no commitments she had to keep -- she traveled the world, and spent much time with her family and friends. She was blessed.

And she was funny. Every so often, she would announce "Today is just for me!" We would point out that just about EVERY day was just for her -- she didn't have to work or baby sit. But in her mind, certain days were set aside for that.

Wifey and I honor Mom all the time with her adorable, hilarious sayings. For example, 4:30 p.m. is "Grandma Sunny Time." That's because were once driving back to our house, the car was quiet, and she signed and said "Ah -- it's 4:30." Wifey asked -- so what? "Oh nothing -- I was just looking at my watch."

Mom had an internal dialogue that was endearing.

And so today is also "Just for me" in honor of Mom.

I, too, am blessed -- my time is mostly my own. Last night, on our Zoom, Drs. Eric and Barry were comparing tales of having to put up with jerky and incompetent supervisors. Man -- that resonated with me -- I am fortunately free of that. My career hassles are all bearable -- negotiations about fee splits, low pressure consulting on cases -- occasionally some PR with clients to get them to retain our group.

If I dealt daily with direct supervisors who affected my life -- well -- no bueno for me.

Still, today is a particularly lazy one. D2 and Jonanathan moved into their new house yesterday, and are thrilled. The Ds already had some hangout time -- D1 timed it -- the drive is less than 5 minutes.

That makes me one extremely proud Daddy in the USA -- I always hoped they'd both live in Miami, but to have them a long walk apart -- well -- my cup runneth over.

Tomorrow we're going to gather in the afternoon for the dispersal of D1's beloved dog's cremains. It'll be a sad event -- not sure how, or if it'll be explained to the Little Man -- D1 and Joey will have to figure that out.

I think afterwards there'll be the first celebratory martini at D2 and Jonathan's house.

Monday, Norman invited me to celebrate MLK Day with him -- ironically in one of the whitest ways possible -- attending a hockey game. Hey -- why not? I don't imagine too many African American folks eat latkes on Chanukah, right?

But today -- essentially nothing is on the schedule -- except the Dolphins playoff game at 8 pm. They're playing at KC, and it is supposed to be the coldest game they've ever played. No one gives than a snowball's chance in hell -- but you never know.

We have the energetic enormous pup Betsy here -- I guess I'll take her for a walk in a bit. Yesterday she got 2 miles and savored every moment.

Today, like all days, is just for Betsy, too...

The Year In Earnest

 So Larry David jokes that you shouldn't be allowed to say "Happy New Year" after January 5th. I think about it each time, during the last week, I got exactly that greeting -- typically from people I indeed have not seen since last year.

But 2024 is in full swing. Business is being done, home renovations are nearing completion. D2 and Jonathan are set to finally move into their new house on Friday -- after a 3.5 year slog involving a townhouse that was part of a fake deal. I think Wifey may be more excited than D2 is -- at least she's more verbal about it.

My job is to fetch the enormous puppy tomorrow, and keep her with us lest the stress of the move get to her. She's large but sensitive.

My other job tomorrow is to fetch Little Man, and meet D1 and Baby Man for a friend's birthday party. I can do this! Wifey begged off, since our friend Allison was due to visit, to keep on de-cluttering, but poor Al had a fall and is sidelined for awhile.

So just over half a year from now I turn 63. 63 plus 2 months is as far as my beloved Dad got on this planet. I think about him each day -- remembering him as an old man to my 20 year old self. Despite the obvious things, I really don't FEEL like an old man. I wonder if he did.

He savored his kids and grandkids as I do. He was happy to not travel to much -- same with me. The trips he and my Mom took were typically at her insistence -- and after he died -- she truly saw the world.

Wifey loves to cruise, and I wouldn't mind if I never took another one, but she knows how to change my view, and so planned one with Joelle and Kenny. We're flying to Barbados in late February, spending 2 nights, and then cruising back to Miami.

The line is a pretty new one -- an offshoot of MSC called Explora. They're supposedly smaller ships with great service. Give me good friends, martinis,and decent food, and I'm a happy guy. Also, the ports are places we've never been, like St. Kitts.

Later in March, D1 booked a family vacay at a resort in Marathon. I look forward to time with the Baby Man and Little Man -- lots to talk about marine life and ecology. Little Man is already a sponge -- he loves to learn. Baby Man loves to be adorable.

Wifey, ever restless, is already planning ANOTHER cruise -- but this one exclusively X chromosomed. She mentioned something about April. I heartily endorse this, and will happily dog sit.

I'm writing this today at Stu's corner Brickell office. So many people are walking past -- as well as the occasional food delivery robot. Where are they all going? Where do they come from?

It's nice to sit here and watch their wheels go round and round...