So in June, Wifey was on the phone with her lunch friends waiting for her at the Aventura Mall, and as she drove looking for a spot, made a wide right into the building and gently scraped a Honda to her left. The young man and she pulled to the side, and Wifey called me to handle it since I handle EVERYTHING, and I tried to explain to the fellow we would pay his damages, he could photo the Lexus tag and Wifey's license to show we were legit, etc...
He was in his 30s and said "I have to call my Mom!" Turns out -- he was Jamaican, and I kind of dug the fact that that group can have failure to launch, men/boys, too. At any age past 20, I would NOT have called my mother about anything like this, but, hey -- different times?
The Mom wasn't having me, and insisted that police be called, and Aventura sent a numbskull PSA who gave Wifey a ticket, even though he didn't witness the accident, and had no video proof. Note to self: when my friend Paul becomes Mayor, which will happen in a few years -- get him fired! Ha. Not really. Maybe.
Anyway, we learned the other day that my new insurance settled the property claim, and I realized I hadn't heard from the lawyer I sent her ticket to, who shares the name of a dead comedian from Philly, about her ticket. I had paid him and sent him the ticket, and he said he'd get it dismissed. So I texted him, and he texted back that the case would be set for trial, we would get the notice when he did, and he would handle it, but I could check the progress on the Miami Dade Clerk's website.
Since I'm OCD, I did, and saw Wifey's license was suspended as of 8/6 for failure to pay the fine! The lawyer forgot to send in his notice/plea of not guilty, and the case was treated as if Wifey were a scofflaw. I reflected on this for a few beats. If I did nothing, and Wifey got stopped again, the cop would see she was driving with a suspended license, and would have arrested her. Hilarity would have resulted, as Wifey would have gotten to spend at least a few hours with, as the Standell's song says, with the "muggers, lovers, and thieves." Also plenty of whores and drug types.
Nah -- I couldn't let that happen. So I called David, keeping my cool, and he of course apologized. NOT! He started telling me he got the ticket the day he was home from vacation, and his WIFE was supposed to handle it, etc... I politely told him I gave zero bowel movements about his life -- fix it!
Late last night, he sent a form showing Wifey's license would NOT have been suspended until 9/1, and he would file his Notice and Plea. So we'll see.
Wifey makes MUCH fun of my OCD -- how I double check anything official. She's right -- once I hire a lawyer for her, for example, I should just let things play out. Great stories would have resulted...
Well next time, I go back to the Ticket Clinic, owned by Paul's law school friend Mark, himself a character who dated multiple escorts and strippers. So I guess traffic ticket law doesn't attract the creme de la creme...
Hopefully Wifey stays our of the hoosegow. I guess we'll see...
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