So D2 and Jonathan love their house in Miami Shores -- lovingly renovated by a dear family friend. The street dead ends at Biscayne Bay, and THE lot there has a house where dear friend Allison grew up -- and her Dad Sy, retired urologist to the stars, still lives there -- at 96! Many of the neighbors have lived in the 'hood for decades, and some have sold to their kids, and it's easy to see why -- terrific location -- small town feel -- Biscayne Bay breezes all Summer.
The 'hood is also lousy with Gibbs, in the way ours is lousy with Marleys. Bob Marley has many family members near us, and it turns out the Bee Gees have kids and grandkids all over the Shores. Also, in the celebrity department, Jonathan learned that a house a few doors down, on the canal side, was owned by Dan LeBatard. Jonathan, along with many of my friends, is a yuuuuge fan of him and his show, and was hoping Dan might actually move in. Turns out, he and his wife never did -- apparently it was an investment property they renovated and planned to sell, and then...
The other night D2 and Jonathan returned home and saw Shores cop cars in front of the property. They figured someone may have broken in and was being arrested. That would be a normal thing in most of the US, but we live in Miami, few things here are normal.
Novelist Carl Hiassen wrote of this, now called "The Hiassen Effect." It holds that being a Miami novelist is particularly challenging since anything a writer might conjure up will be far LESS weird than things that actually happen here. And so it was in the Shores.
Apparently the LeBatard caretaker had noticed a bedroom door had a lock installed, there was a TV there, and food in the refrigerator. While the cops were there investigating, a car drove up and a 37 year old man went inside. He appeared normal -- Colombian American from Broward -- spoke perfect English -- and claimed the house was HIS. The cops showed him paperwork showing it was NOT, even though the guy, whose name is comically Colombian Escobar, said he had owned the house for 20-30 years. Well, he's 37, so that didn't check out. But the cop cameras' recordings were hilarious in how calm the guy was -- didn't appear crazy, or look homeless. He said "Well, I guess you have to follow procedure and arrest me," and the cops did.
In LA or NYC, I have a feeling the cops would have just left, telling LeBatard "this is a civil matter." Luckily South Florida don't play that way, and the squatter was taken to jail. LeBatard featured the story on his show -- in his funny, dramatic way saying "The squatter was planning to fully move in!"
Yep -- like our famous internet site is called, "Only in Dade." Who knows -- maybe a Gibb will buy the place and we get invited to meet Barry, the only surviving Bee Gee.
Closer to home, we had some Pinecrest crime -- also tinged with Miami style. Stir Crazy, a strip club here for decades, had a dustup. 2 fellows apparently meant to "make it rain" (IFYYK) with dollar bills, but mistakenly used hundred dollar bills. They attempted to retrieve their money, but were told, I guess, no refunds. They grew violent and were escorted out. Before getting into their PURPLE LAMBO SUV (there's the Miami angle) they fired shots into the club's front door -- luckily hurting nobody.
The Pinecrest cops were there in 30 seconds, and chased these Rhodes Scholars down 124th Street, where they crashed the 1/4 million dollar vehicle and were arrested. I'm waiting for the "rest of the story." Purple Lambo SUV? Probably they're the sons of some Latin American oligarchs, or something. They didn't look like Marleys in the news story...
I finally got my roof FINAL INSPECTION, and right away set out to get insurance again -- just a fire policy. I called my long time agent, who clearly had zero idea who I was, saying "Well some companies require flood insurance" which I've had through her agency continually since 2000. She sent me a quote, for $8500, and told me I had to hire my own inspector before the company would write the policy.
So I went online, and found a company called Kin, which sells direct. With a nice young agent named Evan, I got a better policy for $6K, and also a quote for auto that was $1K less than I was paying with ESurance, which is going to close sooner or later, anyway. So it was a productive day around Villa Wifey -- saving thousands -- like the ads say -- and covered again.
At least now if a squatter moves in while we're away, and does damage, or a purple Lambo SUV crashes into the house -- we might get paid.
Never is it boring in the 305.'
No comments:
Post a Comment