Who To Leave In; Who To Leave Out

 In my family, my Dad was always seen as the smart one, while Mom, who we loved and adored, was the Edith Bunker -- wise, but not the one you wanted on your "Jeapordy!" team. Dad was a self taught intellectual - very widely read, and prided himself on saying "I am the family psychiatrist -- come to me with your problems." Mom was the opposite -- she'd ask how you were and answer "Oh that's great, Sweetie" before you had the chance to get our your gripes.

Well, as it turns out, Mom's wisdom was the deeper one. There's a LOT to be said for insulating yourself from the negative waves of others, while people like Dad, who internalized the angst and sadness of those he loved, skipped off this planet a few months after turning 63 -- Mom made it to 93.

I had a talk the other day with a family member -- not nuclear -- who mocked my cheerful greeting by telling me all of her manifold woes. She has plenty, of course, mostly due to life choices that led her down a tough road, but on this day her sour mood was about insurance company premiums, and how evil corporations take advantage of regular people -- kind of like a mini Bernie Sanders speech.

I listened, and she asked about my issues, answering before I could -- that my cheerful demeanor MUST mean all was great --- and why wouldn't it be? I have SO many blessings, and money, and dear friends, and, and, and -- my blessings DO feel an embarrassment of riches to me. And typically I'd just go on cheerleading, as I do, but maybe there was something in the air: I was honest.

I told her she was actually in an elite club -- one of the few whose crap I endured based on thinking it's what my Dad would have wanted. But guess what? I had plenty of misery myself -- but choose not to spread it around like manure.

I was reminded of a small but poignant scene from "The Sopranos." Paulie gets pulled over by a local cop who was clearly on the take from Tony's crew -- and apologized to Paulie. Paulie asked how he was, and the cop started venting "Well you know, the wife's cancer is back, and my kid..." Paulie put up his hand, and said "Yeah -- we all got our freaking problems. You REALLY think I need to hear yours???!!!!" Both men laughed because it was true -- we DON'T need to hear the miseries of others, even though politeness demands we ask how things are; how they're going.

Meanwhile, Wifey continues to fight her bad back journey. Her luxury ship sailed without her Thursday -- she put in the claim with insurance for reimbursement. 

But last night, I got a bit tougher. I had told Donna and Barry about a neighborhood fish place, near FIU, Kenny told us about. He, Paul, and I went there last Thursday before we attended a Joelle Crim Pro lecture at the law school. It was delicious. It was VERY moderately priced.

Donna LOVES seafood, and they decided to go -- inviting us. Wifey told me to go along, but I chose not to be a third wheel, and nicely but firmly asked Wifey to come along -- it was only a 24 minute drive, and she could stand as needed. And she did, and we had a fine time!

I figured if she was on the ship, there'd be a nice dinner, and figured she ought to have that, albeit in less luxurious surroundings. We ate -- shared a paella and some ceviche. Donna and Barry LOVED their entrees -- I have a feeling this will become one of their go-tos, although it's a weekend 30 minute drive for them -- down the TPK and past FIU.

It was -- a regular nice Saturday night, with a dear friends -- we talked of our kids and grandkids -- their life choices, some wise, some less than wise.

Wifey told me when we got home she WAS in discomfort, but so be it. It was a needed night, and proved she could still be amongst the living, versus the shut ins -- the last place one ought to be until really much later.

Today the weather is gorgeous. I have some LONG walks planned. Hopefully tomorrow they finish our roof -- it appears largely done except for a few drainage areas near balcony and a stairway joint.

Hopefully I get to see the boys -- probably a fetch from school and maybe a late lunch with their beloved tia, D2. I so love those afternoons -- and now that Little Man adores D2's beloved enormous dog, she loves them, too.

And March draws nigh. The months truly fly by -- just yesterday we were ringing in 2026 in San Juan Harbor as the Canes were beating Ohio State. 

So my delayed New Year's resolution -- minimize the negative allowed into my head. Plenty comes with no choice -- that's life. But allowing non essential downers? Nah -- that was SO 2025.