Mothers And Daughters

 I've long noted that relationships between adult daughters and their mothers can be the most fraught. Fathers and sons can always talk sports, and mothers and sons can either have healthy or oedipal relationships.

As for Dads and daughters, for many of us Dads, it's simple: our girls are our princesses and can rarely do wrong.

Luckily, the issues between Wifey and the Ds have evolved more to the humorous than the serious. Oh -- there have been tears and issues, of course, but the routine lately often involves the Ds taking Wifey's stuff, like jewelry and handbags, and home furnishings, and seeing how many months, or years, if ever, go by before Wifey notices. Wifey has LOTS of stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, the Ds can take anything material I own, and I wouldn't care. But somehow they don't seem to require XXL shorts and Canes T shirts. My expensive stuff WAS a couple of watches -- one Rolex and one Breitling -- and I already gave those to my sons in law.

Well, recently D1 had a new office build in her house -- an elegantly designed and built space that took some closet room from Baby Man's oversized bedroom. She and Joey now have a perfect office at the stair landing, where they can do business calls quietly despite the tumult of their house.

D1 had a torch lamp, but it was too big. She noticed that Wifey had recently gotten a smaller one, at the suggestion of our designer friend Allison, and asked Wifey if she could switch out the lamps -- since the one we had was in a much larger space.

Wifey has zero confidence in making any decorating decisions. Piles of patio furniture cushions have been in boxes on our front loggia for months -- she won't decide which ones to use -- and Allison has been too busy to come over to make the call.

Wifey told D1 that once Allison came over, if she okayed the change, then D1 could switch the lamps. But, alas, D1 has very bad OCD, and wanted her office "finished" right away.

So she committed a rich, white girl crime: she switched out the lamps last Sunday while Wifey and I were playing with the grandkids, figuring that Wifey would never notice, and when finally the issue came up, Allison would just say the bigger lamp here was ok.

D1 did tell me, and I had zero Fs to give -- I told her to go ahead. And so the great torch lamp caper of 2024 was on.

It should be noted that these lamps cost, I think, $150 each -- but I think D1 sort of wanted to just get it done.

And she nearly pulled off the crime -- she and Joey left Sunday afternoon, and Wifey was none the wiser.

But then D1, NOT a good burglar, make a mistake -- she filmed the boys singing in the SUV on the way home, and when Wifey watched the video, saw the stolen lamp behind the boys.

She was PISSED. I tried to keep  straight face, but Wifey wasn't having it -- this was emblematic of the lack of respect we all have for her and her things, she was NEVER buying D1 or D2 for that matter, another gift, ever.

I figured D2 should be included, and so I ratted her out to Wifey -- she knew about the whole switcheroo, too, and did nothing to stop it.

And then D2 went into her family mediator mode -- demanding her sister apologize, and letting Wifey vent about her feelings  of lack or respect.

I fell on my sword -- telling Wifey that it was all my fault. Last year, Wifey's friend said that I, along with all of my friends with the possible exception of Dr. Barry, were assholes, and I agreed. I never should have allowed D1 to take the torch lamp without permission.

And then I pulled the card: I made Wifey scrambled eggs, and a perfectly toasted bagel, and brought it to her as she sat in her recliner -- sort of her family room throne.

Wifey tells us that her "language of love" is when people bring things to her, particularly coffee and food, in bed or on her recliner. At first she refused the breakfast, but soon enough I heard the scaping of the fork on the dish.

Several hours later, I ordered her dinner, from Wu's Kitchen, at Norman's suggestion, and she loved picking out the won tons and veggies from the "Special Soup." I also reminded her what mushu was, and she made some delicious pancakes.

Talk of the lamp-gate had faded away. I think D1 is ordering a new small one to replace the one she purloined, and the too big torch job will either be given a new spot, or given to Miriam, like the tons of stuff that's been leaving our house as the 23 year decluttering continues.

I'm thankful these are the First World Problems we deal with.

Thursday, Joey is taking Little Man to Colombia -- along with Joey's Mom and younger brother. Joey wants his boy to see a favorite uncle on his 70th birthday, as well as visit Joey's grandmother, still doing well at 90.

Wifey is moving in with D1 and Baby Man for 4 nights. I have a feeling it'll be a lovely stay, though if I were D1, I would check Wifey's SUV for stolen stuff before Wifey leaves...