The Bad Idea Bears

 Oh how the Ds and I love "Avenue Q," a grown up, sardonic take on "Sesame Street." Two characters are the "Bad Idea Bears," who appear and convince the other characters to drink more and take more drugs, and have unprotected sex. After we saw the show, we adopted the Bad Idea Bears as an excuse whenever one of the three of us did something stupid.

And yesterday, the Bears were in full control! The Ds and Wifey are on a futile path with me -- try to get me to dress better and have nice accessories. I am a schlub -- my chosen identification. Stuart bought me a Cartier wallet, probably in the late 90s, and I kept it a good 10 years -- until it was torn, somehow.

D1 took me to Saks in Dadeland probably on break from UF, and we found a replacement. It cost like$700, but as D1 reminded me, since I keep wallets so long, it was justifiable. And indeed, the thing is now approaching 1/4 century, and, to me, perfectly acceptable. But not to the Ds! They and Wifey are on a mission to replace my wallet. I told them NOT to get anything online -- I needed to actually see the thing that would live closest to my tuches for at least the next decade, and if indeed they ordered something online, I would open it and toss it into the pond. I am typically a nice guy, but CAN be a total asshole, when it is required.

Fine, the women said, then D2 would take me to Bal Harbor and we would visit the Cartier or Saks store there, I forget, and buy a new wallet. Bal Harbor. My true spirit animal mall. Ha. As if.

Anyway, Wifey said she would tag along, since she wanted to see the Boys and didn't want to drive herself, and so I dropped her at Casa D1 and went to D2's house. The rain was coming down, heavily. We vaguely heard something about a huge flood watch, but we ignored it. Bal Harbor was less than 10 miles away.

Well, as soon as we got to Biscayne Blvd, the water was everywhere. We should have immediately turned around, but those damn Bears were with us, and I pressed forward. Finally, in front of the Bagel Bar, on 125 Street, we decided to go home. Compounding the problem, I was also hangry -- we were going to have lunch at the Houston's in the mall, which I love. So I suggested we stop there; D2 said no -- she thought a salad from there made her sick a few weeks past. Ok -- where else to eat? Downtown Miami Shores, said D2.

We trudged through more flooding. Luckily, my man sized Caddy SUV is high up, and we didn't stall out. We got to the Shores -- all parking lots flooded, and D2 said she wasn't walking through polluted water -- we would lunch at home. We did -- she made me a fine chicken salad, and then we watched the rain.

D1 called. She had fetched Baby Man at an inter-session camp in Aventura, and was trudging through waist deep water in their lot. She fell over something -- both she and Baby Man went down -- luckily just a twisted ankle for D1. Could we fetch Little Man? We agreed, but then she got him early herself, which was smart. The conditions were deteriorating.

D2, enormous puppy Betsy, and I decamped to D1 and Joey's house -- through some more epic puddles. We were soaked -- dried our clothes in D1's dryer, and spent a lovely, inclement afternoon together. Before Joey came home, we ordered UberEats, and the question was whether it would make it. A bit late, it did, and I tipped the brave driver an extra $20 to thank him for driving through the monsoon so we could have our salads and wraps.

They put Baby Man to sleep, and Little Man got stories from D2, Wifey, and me. He is hilarious -- questioning everything we read to him, often with the mind of an engineer -- how does that fit? How does that work. I hope the Big Man gives me the years to see what his life's path is. D1 thinks either a wonderful president, or a dictator. We'll see...

Finally, near 9, there was a break in the rain, and we dropped off D2 and Betsy, and I went inside to check things out. Luckily only some water in the garage -- to be expected in an epic flood.

And our drive home was surprisingly easy -- most people had sense to be off the roads -- so it took us less time than usual.

So the only lasting damage: Jonathan had 2 flights canceled, and is still stuck in NYC. Hopefully he makes it back today, though the weather is supposed to deteriorate again later on.

And then, this am, as I was getting ready to leave for my workout, I saw we had lost a single tree -- tipped over from the excess water, I'm sure. And it fell exactly across our driveway -- we was trapped!

Wifey called our landscape guy, and I went out with an old school tree saw. I got a lot of it cut away, and was stuck on a thick branch, when Pedro appeared, as if in a Hollywood movie. He saved me from poking my eye out, or maybe cutting off a finger or two. He and his crew had the thing all cut down in about 20 minutes.

Probably they'll charge a lot, and it will be worth every penny.

Today the Bad Idea Bears are at bay. We plan to stay home and hopefully dry. No time for flooded out cars, or worse...