Storm Season

 Today is the beginning of hurricane season, so of course memories of years past come flooding in. I moved here in 1979, and my namesake David threatened, but the only damage was hangovers from hurricane parties at UM that first semester.

But then in 1992, I learned that the crap is real. Andrew, a Cat 5, his us like a buzz saw in one of the scariest nights of our lives, with 3 year old D1, 6 month old D2, 72 year old Grandma Sunny, staying with us since it appeared the storm was going to hit farther North, and dogs Midnight, the 95 lb lab, and Alfred, the smaller cocker spaniel.

The house literally collapsed around us, with ceilings falling, and glass flying -- fortunately the garage on the NW corner of the house, farthest from the path of winds, was a refuge for us, crammed into my Mitsubishi Diamante, including, comically, the dogs. Midnight leapt in through the open window, as if to say "Ah hell nah, you ain't leaving me outside this car!" We brought Alfred in, too.

Our home was totally "mistroyed" as adorable D1 noted, and it caused us to move first to a 2 bedroom on Brickell Key, thanks to the quick thinking of our friend Linda who without asking ran to the office and secured us a unit, and later to my in laws house in  Kendale South. We didn't move back to our rebuilt house until March of 1994 -- more than 1.5 years after the typhoon.

But it was ok -- we replaced a lot of our crap with insurance money, which I turned into stock and bond holdings which we keep today, to be able to leave to the Ds when Wifey and I check out. And we ended up with a new, larger house, a rental house which caused us to meet and befriend our Rabbi and Rebetzin, and the clear knowledge that possessions are just so much flotsam and jetsam in your life.

After the Summer of Andrew, we were largely left alone until 2005, when we were living in a much more solidly built house. Near Labor Day, Katrina came through, and knocked out the power and knocked down lots of trees, and caused us to move to Mayfair Hotel in the Grove, which turned out to be a very fun stay cation until the power in our foliage heavy 'hood was restored. We partied with fellow exiles, and watched as Katrina strengthened over the Gulf, headed to New Orleans. Knowing the wrath of Andrew, I remember saying "Those poor sons of bitches," which Wifey found offensive and chided me about. Funny how marital slights remain in memory decades later...

Later that very same Fall, Wilma came, via a strange path circling back Northeast from the Western Caribbean. It loosened roof tiles and also knocked down trees, and once again the power stopped. But the after weather was gorgeous -- cool nights -- and I saw no need to go anywhere. Wifey and the Ds high tailed it to Atlanta, and our across the street neighbor Susan took her kids Marie and Patrick to Orlando. I got a room at a local hotel, just to have to take hot showers, but evenings Pat and I had a blast.

He took me to Riviera CC, his club, and when the Gables curfew hit, would relocate to Fox's, which I told him was MY CC. We sat on each of our porches drinking Middleton, and eventually singing old Eagles songs together. The sky was star filled without any lights. Good thing Pat and I had no inklings about switching teams, or it could have turned into Brokeback Mountain.

Yes -- we are both very straight, and his team is the Gators while mine is the Canes.

After that, things were pretty quiet until 2017. D1 and Joey were married in their Big, Fat, Colombian wedding on the Miami River, as Hurricane Irma was bearing down. Thankfully, she let us have the wedding, but 2 days later, with D2 and Jonathan safely back in NYC, we loaded up Joey's Ford Explorer with extra gas tanks, and 3 dogs, and left at 330 am for Atlanta.

Since Irma was on a path up the Florida peninsula like a bowling ball in a lane, it was the HUGEST exodus in history, and the typically 11 hour drive was closer to 20. Still, we made it, hosted by one friend while his wife was away on a "Special trip," and more drama was to come.

Wifey had been complaining about feeling sick, and since she often is, well, less than stoic about her infirmities, we sort of ignored her. But our host bought a thermometer and sure enough, she had a fever of 103. A called in Z pack cured her. And then Joey noticed a lump at the base of his neck, and a less than skilled Urgent Care doc was gravely concerned.

I remember thinking "REally? This wonderful young man gets married and then learns he has a life threatening disease???" Well, when the coast was kind of clear, we left for home, again in the middle of the night, for an even longer drive home under the threat of no gas, even with the supplies we had with us. 

I had sworn my trips to Gainesville were over, after 9 straight years of visits there for the Ds' combined 3 degrees, but sure enough, we stopped there for breakfast and in search of gas. Breakfast was good, but we found gas on the Turnpike near Ocala, at a station taken over by the National Guard and run VERY well.

We dropped the newlyweds home -- their power was restored -- and Wifey and I checked into a historic hotel in Downtown. After 3 nights we were evicted -- FEMA had taken it over for their crews. It made zero sense -- all their work was needed in the Keys -- quite a long way away, as I told some Guardsmen from Oklahoma who had zero idea about local directions. I bought them drinks.

Most luckily -- Joey was fine, as per Dr. Canning, our surgeon family friend -- just a fatty lipoma. Dr. Canning ended up, Richard Corey-like, killing himself the following year -- but that's another story.

Anyway, Wifey and I decamped to the Gables Hyatt, which was lovely, and spent a few nights there until our power was restored. Trees were blocking everything, but the house was fully intact.

And it's remarkable -- despite the huge tree loss, 7 years later you can't even tell, except for some bent palms above our pool. Nature abides.

So here's to a season where the cyclones leave us the hell alone. May the only Hurricanes to do damage be the ones who open the season August 31 in Gainesville -- against the Gators.

Pat and I will be watching.