People Come; People Go

 So last night, as I was taking my evening constitutional, I ran into Daria, who is a fellow Executive Committee member of our silly little HOA. She said she was sorry Wifey and I were leaving the Board, but thanked us for our years of service. She asked why we were stepping down.

I told her a partial truth. In my case, I said, I just felt old timers like me ought to encourage the younger residents to be involved, and in Wifey's case, since she doesn't answer emails for weeks at a time, maybe she wasn't the best person to be Crime Watch, since those events, while few, need to be addressed with some alacrity.

What I left out is that I foresee a coming period of tensosity in the 'hood, and want to be FAR away from it. The issue is our Special Tax District, which pays for off duty FHP troopers to provide additional security.

The STD came about in the late 80s, when Miami crime was out of control, and Pinecrest hadn't incorporated with our own Department. The neighbors got together and voted to have a special tax each year to pay for security.

One of my favorite former residents, Dr. Bob, now long passed, told me the history. At first, said the politically incorrect, courtly Dermatologist, "We had a bunch of Julios in golf carts -- and some of them committed inside job burglaries! So we went with actual cops instead." I had never heard the term "Julios" used in a racist context -- but got it right away -- like Jesse Jackson calling NYC "Hymietown."

Anyway, when we moved here in 2000, it was off duty FHP, and it seemed superfluous to us, and crime was down, and Pinecrest had a crack Department anyway. But people had gotten used to the troopers, and the cost was about $2K per year, and it was fine.

But then -- this year -- the issue raised its head. Costs had gone up, and our 'hood was underpaying the troopers. We're kind of the po relations of upscale communities around here. Snapper Creek and Journeys End and Gables Estates pay the troopers much more, and so we have a shortage. These guys get nearly $100 per hour now to sit in their cars and maybe drive around every once in awhile.

Leaving out the boring details, an ad hoc Committee was convened, including Wifey and me, but we dipped when we learned a bipolar neighbor was also a member. And the Committee did lots of research and concluded our best alternative was keeping FHP -- though over the next 5 years, costs would rise several thousand.

No house in our 'hood is worth less than $1.5M. One neighbor, who I'll call Ellen since that's her name, asked me what was going on. When I told her she was going to have to pay a few K more per year, she reacted as if I had said "I spoke to your Pathologist -- sadly -- your mass has metastasized."

I tried to bring her back to reality. She's RICH. Just pay the freight! But no -- she and her husband plan to fight this!

She's not the only one, I'm sure, and I have made the executive decision that Wifey and I are much better off watching with popcorn than being  involved  Board Members.

And last evening, Daria told me that two neighbors have already agreed to replace us. In one case, Security, Elissa will replace Wifey, so Proud Boys and Q Anon are right: a Jew WILL replace us!

Actually, only Wifey. My replacement is to be Berta, who is a lovely Catholic Venezuelan born woman. I am sure she will ably welcome all new neighbors -- probably with croquetas instead of the cheap but drinkable wine I bring. Or maybe pizza -- her husband owns a HUGE chain of pizza restaurants in Indiana, with two outposts in Miami...

I'm politically incorrect like Dr. Bob was. I miss that guy -- each am as I fetched my Herald, I would see him walking Sam, his Boxer, and he would stop and we would chat. He was 6'6" and looked like a character from Lincoln's day, with mutton chop sideburns. I was convinced he was a Southern gentleman, but he was a NY born Jewish guy, educated in Europe. His widow lives up in Broward now.

The point is, no one is irreplaceable. And seeing the coming tempest in a teapot, it's so easy to understand why our nation is divided. If 81 houses of mostly Democrats and all rich people can't get along -- does our Nation have a chance? I guess we'll see.