Confusion From The Past

 So Wifey's BFF got divorced well over 20 years ago, and we lost touch with her ex. Like exists in most divorces, you have to pick Team Husband or Team Wife, and we were, of course, duty bound to pick Team Wife.

I always liked the ex, who is a funny Brooklyn wise-ass Jewish guy -- kind of in my tribe. I thought I would see him last June at his daughter's wedding. Alas, that was not to be, as I was uninvited to said wedding by Team Wife, and so instead emailed the fellow, who I'll call Steve, since that's his name, wishing him mazel tov on his girl's nuptials. I never heard back from him.

At the wedding, Wifey chatted with him, and his new wife (funny to say "new" since he's been married to her nearly 20 years now), and he asked where I was. Wifey properly avoided getting into details, and just said I was not there.

Months later, Steve called me, and I didn't return his call. I didn't see the point, really -- this was a friendship not going to continue. He called again in early March, thinking maybe I didn't get his message, and again I kind of ignored it.

Well, last week a former client from Atlanta had called seeking some advice, and since the client referred us some major cases over the years, spoke to him. And yesterday, as I was sitting drinking my second coffee of the day, I saw I was getting another Atlanta call -- I assumed it was the client from Warner Robbins, and I answered. Alas, it was Steve.

We ended up talking for nearly an hour. But the funny part was, he was curious how I was doing as a single man. What? I remain quite married to Wifey, I corrected him, why was he asking? He merely assumed that we had divorced, which was the reason I wasn't invited to the wedding.

I laughed -- no -- it had to do with his ex, not Wifey. He thought I was kidding -- surely Wifey wouldn't have come to the wedding without her husband -- essentially taking sides against me. Again I corrected him -- it was more complicated than regular guys like us could ever understand.

I joked that the entire thing was HIS fault -- for divorcing now approaching a quarter century ago. He laughed -- yes -- he has accepted that most things are his fault -- even when they have consequences decades into the future.

Then we caught up about our lives, and what we've been doing professionally since the turn of the century. We spoke about price versus value in life, and how few people seem to understand the difference. 

It was a very nice talk -- the two of us had shared plenty of nice times together. In fact, I told him that just the week before, an antique car show in Islamorada caused Waze to detour us to Old Overseas Highway, right past a small hotel where Wifey and I visited Steve and his then wife and baby girl. The baby girl is now nearing 41, and has quite a tumultuous life.

I told Steve D1's take on his oldest: she's like a buoy in the ocean that will always remain afloat, though sometimes in very rough seas. He appreciated that, he said.

So after I hung up, I realized how disinformation spreads. This is a fellow SURE that his old friend had been divorced -- and he was wrong. We laughed about it, and he was glad I was able to keep things together. He had tried, he said, but realized it was time to go different ways.

We'll likely not speak again. We wished each other great journeys through this highway called life. And now he knows I am still a married man.