So my friend and financial advisor Pat was in town, and asked me to meet for some cocktails before he had dinner with his hosts in the Gables. I agreed, and suggested we two old gringos go to Captain's Tavern, the local headquarters for old gringos. I figured I would Uber over, have a few adult beverages with Pat, and then Wifey would come later and we'd have dinner, and she would drive me home.
Alas, Wifey is in clean out mode, as her decorators are coming Friday to replace our old clutter with new clutter, and so she begged off actually attending dinner, but would in fact fetch me, as long as I brought her her favorite, the lobster tail, in return. Seemed like a plan.
I rarely use Lyft, but thought maybe I'd keep the account active, and their price for the 8 minute drive was $9.99, whereas Uber wanted $11. So I updated my payment info, and summoned Lyft at around 3:35, since they claimed to be 6 minutes away, and it was a short trip. Pat, like I, is VERY prompt, and I knew he would be at the bar at 4 p.m.
So I walked outside, and followed the driver's progress, and then, nothing. I texted him -- "Are you lost?" No response. So then I called, and got a fellow who spoke ZERO English. This is one of my pet peeves.
When Uber and Lyft petitioned Miami Dade for permission to operate, one of their promises was that, opposed to Miami Dade's comically bad taxis, each driver would speak English. We minority gringos welcomed this. I was once in a taxi with a nice Creole only speaking man, on a trip from MIA to my then Kendall house. It had been a long day, and I dozed off, waking to realize we were in Broward County! I somehow communicated to the man his mistake, and he drove me home, and then said "$150." I laughed, gave him the $40 the trip should have been, and he gave me the finger and drove away. So I figured the English speaking nature of our new service would end that stuff. I figured wrong.
The driver was clearly upset and confused. I tried, in my limited Spanish, to explain how to get to my house. He wouldn't listen -- just excitedly trying to explain to me all he was going through. I have a feeling he may have driven to 66 Street -- in West Kendall. But after 2 tense calls, I realized I was late to the Tavern, and said "Cancel. I'll drive."
I got to the Tavern a few minutes late, and greeted Pat and my Ketel and tonic, and I got the out of state number again -- the driver. Dude was relentless. I told him I was to arrive at the Tavern BEFORE 4, it was now 415, and what part of "Cancel" didn't he understand? I figured that was it. Again, I figured wrong.
The Lyft app chimed again. This moron had handed me off to another driver, Yoel! I texted him that I was already at the Tavern -- cancel the trip. Dude texted back "I am new driver -- you cannot cancel my trip."
Now I'm two drinks in -- it's a full hour past when the Lyft idiots were to have me at the Tavern. So I called the number -- Yoel spoke English -- he said he was 5 minutes from my house. I told him to knock himself out -- I was long at my destination -- maybe he'd like to come to the Tavern for a drink? He hung up, but then I got another text "Yoel will be arriving shortly. Be ready."
So I texted back -- could he water check my mailbox for me while he was there? My need for a ride was now 1.5 hours late. He texted back: "I am new at this. Why you being so mean?"
Then I got the last text -- he had waited for me, and when I failed to arrive (I guess I could have driven home for him) he left. I was being charged $5 for the aborted drive.
Meanwhile, Pat and I caught up nicely, and discussed the markets. We planned strategy. And then Harris and Ruby appeared -- our dear friend Elizabeth, who passed away - Ruby is her sister. They were at the bar, and Ruby texted Wifey that she found me at the bar with a tall Irish person with very attractive hair.
Pat left, and Wifey decided to come by after all -- to see Ruby and Harris. I ordered our dinners at the bar, and Wifey walked over to the table and chatted for a bit. Her lobster tail came, as well as my halibut -- flown in that day and delicious.
Since I abridged my drinking due to Lyft's incompetence, I drove home, as did Wifey. It had been no harm, so no foul.
I checked my Amex, and there was no charge. I had bought Lyft stock after the IPO several years back. It dropped, and never rose to the level I paid. Now I see why -- it's a crappy company -- especially compared to Uber.
Maybe I'll sell my shares today -- I'll take the loss to offset some gains in something else.
I always joke that when I call a ride share, I fantasize I am Thurston Howell III awaiting his chauffer. Not with Lyft -- I feel like the poor guy who can't fit on the overstuffed city bus.
Puck you, Lyft. I'm exclusively an Uber mentsch now.
No comments:
Post a Comment