Erev Father's Day

 So tomorrow is the po relation of Mother's Day, and I'm just hoping to not spend it in the cemetery. Actually, I guess that won't happen, as my Suegra is still among us. Remarkable -- day 4 with zero water or food.

I'm guessing the privations she suffered as a young woman, in the camps and slave labor places, conditioned her body this way. I know for a fact she went for long stretches with no food, and I'm guessing little, if any water. It must have prepared her body for this end.

But back to FD. The last one I got to celebrate with MY beloved Dad was in June of '82. He may have been in the hospital for that one, recovering from the heart attack he had suffered. He recovered and got out of the hospital in early July -- only to die of a massive MI on July 14, 1982. So I've been fatherless more than three decades now.

As Tony S says -- it sucks, but hey -- what are ya gonna do?

I never got over Dad's death. We were so close -- he was like a grandfather and father in one, as he was 42 when I was born. He was my best friend, and I'm someone who was always blessed to have very dear friends -- going back to grade school.

I remember well the end of my Spring semester of 1981, when I was sure I was going to disappoint him. After years of pre med studies, I came to the conclusion that med school wasn't for me. Getting Cs in science classes and As in humanities may have done the trick. I went to see Dr Davidoff, one of my mentors, a brilliant neurologist who let me work in his lab one summer, and even included my name on two scientific journals. He tried to talk me into staying the course -- saying if I got decent MCAT scores, he would do all he could to get me admitted somewhere. But I didn't want it, and thanked him.

His wife Judy, an English professor, talked me out of my first idea of getting a PhD in English and teaching. In the early 80s, Stanford and Harvard English grads were waiting tables -- it was the tail end of the Baby Boom, and academic jobs were scarce. Judy was the one who suggested law school, since I could read and write critically -- might as well have a profession where "a nice Jewish boy like you could support a family some day." Boy, was she right.

But I went home to Delray to break the news to Dad. I expected at least a negative head shake. Instead, he said "What took you so long? I always knew you weren't really a science guy. You won the English student of the year in high school -- that's what you should study. You'll figure out how to support yourself -- you're a sharp guy." Wow -- did I love him so then.

My junior year, the first with no science classes, I got a 4.0. I still recall well coming home from my summer job at Jordan Marsh in the Town Center Mall in Boca, anxiously awaiting my grades in the mail. One day I walked into the Florida room, and Dad was in his recliner, holding a letter. He put up 4 fingers, and smiled. He had opened my grades, of course, and was beaming. We probably celebrated with some corned beef sandwiches at a local deli -- he ordered Cel-Ray soda, I'm sure. He was OG Bronx deli man.

So precious few of my friends have living fathers, and I envy them. I spoke to Norman the other day -- his wonderful Dad Max is nearing 95 and doing wonderfully. He's taking Max to Ruths' Chris tonight to celebrate -- I'm so happy for him.

Dana's Dad Ron is with us, still -- I see him on Dana and Eric's weekly Zoom shabbat,and he looks well. My friend Kenny's Dad and Mom just moved into an ALF. Kenny is in an even smaller fraternity -- someone our age with BOTH surviving parents. Not many of those.

So this FD, I'll be thinking of Hy, as always, and be grateful for all the love and support and guidance he gave me for nearly 21 years. He died 4 days before I turned 21.

And I'll kvell about MY girls, the Ds, and my grandson. They feel like they know my Dad, even though he was gone long before they were born, as I try to imitate him as a father each day.