So This Is Pesach...And What Have You Done?

 The Days of the Unleavened are upon us. I got a chuckle to start the holiday -- a text greeting from my friend Berl Goldman, UF Chabad Rabbi. He sent greetings to "Goldberg." Later on, he sent an apologizing text, saying he can't rely on tech. Apparently D2 got one, too. "No Problem," I replied, "A very happy Pesach to you as well, Rabbi Uminer" I said, using the name of our mutual friend in Boston. Much haredi laughter ensued, and I even got a call from Rabbi Uminer, who bragged that Robert Kraft, the owner of the Patriots, was coming to HIS seder. Wow. His brother in law Rabbi Yossi, my Rabbi, needs to up his game. In the way our people were freed from slavery, Yossi needs to be freed from the schleppers in Kendall, to the promised land of the machers, like Robert Kraft.

Meanwhile, we had a lovely first seder. Jonathan's parents invited us. D1 and Joey and the Little Man were invited to Joey's brother's house -- so it would be full on Ashkenazim for us this year -- no Sephardic at all.

Jonathan's folks had, I think, 12 of us, including the family matriarch, Judy. She truly is the queen - last night dressed like Elizabeth Taylor, but with more charm and finesse. She told us tales of learning music as taught by the nuns in the convent in Budapest, where she hid at her parents' plan during the Holocaust. To this day, she knows more of the Catholic liturgy than any Catholic I know.

And Judy brought a friend, whom we had never met. Ibe is her nickname, and she was amazing -- a true outlier. She is 96, walks and cooks (she made the gefilte fish and 2 kugels) and was sharp as a tack. She and Judy are friends from Caracas, where Ibe and her family went after leaving Israel.

Ibe is Hungarian, and was fortunate to have a father who read the writing on the European walls in 1940 -- he took the family to Palestine. Ibe was 14. Her father, like my consuegro David's father, was in the Irgun, and helped found Israel. Now Ibe has family in Colombia and Israel -- most Venezuelan Jews have high tailed it out of there.

Ibe asked where my people were from, after we chatted a bit. I told her my maternal grandparents were from Bialystok, and my paternal grandparents from Czernovitz. Bialystok didn't impress her, but her eyes lit up at the mention of Czernovitz. "I knew it!" She said that Czernovitz was like Vienna -- a center of Jewish intellectualism, and charm. She said she had a boyfriend in Israel from the same city, and I was just like him -- handsome and smart and charming. 

Wow. It made my night. I ain't never been flirted with by a 96 year old before! Somehow Wifey wasn't threatened. But I was amazed. I know precious few people in their 90s as vital and together as Ibe -- my buddy Norman's Dad Max comes to mind.

Sure enough, a few day before, we visited my ancient suegra -- 97. Rachel is mostly out of it. She's bedridden. She had zero idea who Wifey and I were -- and Wifey is her only child. I joke that a few thousand years ago, folks made a big deal about a kid born in Bethlehem. A BIGGER deal was made in Haifa in 1956 when Wifey was born to her Survivor parents. But, alas, Rachel's savior is faded to her now.

But anyway, it was a delightful dinner. Jonathan's uncles were there -- funny and charming men, as was his brother Dan and wife Melanie, visiting from Kansas City. I asked Melanie whether she and Dad were the only Latin Jews in KC -- she was pretty sure they are. And Jonathan's lovely young sister was there  -- smiling and quiet as usual.

Somehow we were there until well after 11 -- and the time flew by.

Today, the Ds and their men and the Little Man are coming! I already fetched the food from Joanna's. We'll have a quick, toddler friendly seder -- more to teach the Little Man than anything else. 

Wifey has set a lovely table. Her friend Cara was going to come, but was a late dropout. I'm kind of happy -- it's nice when it's just the immediate family -- we can all let our chopped liver down.

So Pesach 2022 is in full swing. As usual, I think about Bob Marley, and his lyric about mental slavery -- we need to free our minds from that, since ain't nobody making my peeps build pyramids these days.

All I know is, I sat at the table last night, observing Jonathan's wonderful family, and I gave thanks to the Big Man -- for both of my sons in law.

I saw my friend Courtney the other day -- Joel's wife. Her oldest has to decide on where he attends college -- UF or USC. She had little sense of humor -- as if this were the biggest decision of his life.

I gave Courtney my usual advice -- spend time talking to your son about his life partner -- THAT is crucial. Whether you wear and orange and blue or red and gold t shirt, much less so.

All I know is, I feel like my Ds chose Harvard and Yale for their husbands. And for this, I am extremely grateful this Pesach.