Back Taxes To The Czar

 Ah -- this DNA testing. It's causing all kinds of mischief -- like people finding out their papa not their papa but their papa don't know, as the great Reggae song goes.

Locally, the funniest tale has been our friend Loni, who found out after a lifetime of Catholic school, marrying in St. Louis, and having both her kids Baptized (I was the equivalent of the shabbos guy -- I helped hold them over the Holy Water)  that she is halachically Jewish. 

Yep -- her mother, child of Polish Jewish WW II refugees, just never mentioned it to anyone, ever. Much hilarity resulted, especially since their boy Chris is marrying a very NON crypto Jewish young woman next year.

Our friend Lili, herself a Cubana who converted to the Tribe, as usual was prescient. "Did anyone ever actually LOOK at Loni's mom? She looks like every JCC Mom who ever picked up a kid at camp there." Lili, who has keen gaydar, also has keen Jewdar.

Yesterday Wifey texted me about a fellow named, I think, Waxenbaum. He is one of her Film Noir FaceBook followers. Wifey has amassed an audience of several thousand who follow her daily posts about her favorite movie genre. Of course, I would love to monetize this new found hobby -- but that doesn't seem to be in the cards.

Still, this fellow reached out and said he thought he was related to us somehow -- I think someone else in the family did one of those 23 and Me things, and this fellow matched. Wifey asked what I wanted to do.

I replied that I barely keep in touch with the cousins I DO know about now -- why in the world would I seek out more? My cousin Barry calls somewhat often for legal advice, and I comply. Years ago he sent my firm a nice case, and so I like to thank him in kind.

The other cousins I have on FaceBook are nice enough, but our lives just seem to have gone in myriad, different ways.

Still, I looked this fellow up, and saw he was an engineer at Sandia Labs, a place in New Mexico I visited and found fascinating -- even though they wouldn't let me into the secret room where they keep the crashed alien.

So I connected with him on Linked In, and said I heard we might be related -- does HE owe the Russian Czar back taxes like I do, for my grandparents skipping out on bills from the turn of the prior century? We'll see if he gets the joke.

But it's true -- I have enough going on with my inner circle. In the past I enjoyed expanding the circle. These days wisdom requires I contract it.

I suspect even funnier tales will emerge with this home DNA testing stuff. All I know is, I was disappointed when mine came back with zero Masai warrior. The Masai don't owe Russian Czars anything.