Car Talk

 So yesterday revolved around things automotive, first during the day, and continuing through Zoom happy hour.

My girlie Lexus is now 6 months old, and has a paltry 1100 miles on it. We never go anywhere. When I first got the car, I downloaded an APP called Lexus Enform, where you can check on your car and start it and lock/unlock it remotely. It only partly worked, and the nice tech woman told me there was a software issue with the car -- the dealer needed to fix it. Nah. Not important enough for me to undertake that, but then the car started having problems starting -- it would just click and display weird dash messages. So I called and made an appointment.

I dropped the car at 7, and walked the 3.3 miles home -- nice to get off the Reservation for a change. SW 112th Street was eerily quiet, with great, new sidewalks, and I checked out all the houses. Pinecrest has a great degree of socioeconomic diversity -- the people range from rich to really, really rich. On the side avenues north of 112th Street there were a few of the former -- little ranches with American flags posted, and older cars. Eventually developers will buy out those "Miamuh" folks and probably build upscale townhouses. Along 112th itself, there are some true mansions.

Anyway, at 2 the dealership called -- could I come in with my cell phone so they could properly link up the system with the car. Wifey dropped me off, and I was led to the actual work area. I joked with the mechanic that it was "where the magic happens." He got it, and soon enough, masks tightly on, Umberto got me all fixed and connected. Did I want the car washed? I did, since last wash was before I got the car in June.

I waited a comically long time, and eventually the car was brought out. Now I can get back to putting on some of the miles I paid for -- no way I'll get to 30K in 3 years.

The truth is, I'm really not that into cars. I was when I was young, and for a few years when the firm was soaring -- it was kind of fun to drive Lexuses (the top of the line ones instead of my boring midsized sedan), big BMWs, Jaguars, and Caddies. Now all I want is a reliable car with a decent sound system. That's it.

So last night, we Zoomed -- just Eric, Dana, Barry and me. As friends of 4 decades, I really thought we knew all of each others' stories. Turns out Barry didn't know one, and it had to do with cars.

Eric was always, and still is, into cars. So his his son the engineer. Eric just got his first Tesla, and showed it to us with his phone camera. It was very impressive, and Eric was justly excited about all its featured -- apparently the thing accelerates like a rocket, despite the huge battery weight. I joked he had come a long was from his used Toyota Celica, which he got painted rather than replace while in Med School. And then I remembered my car tale folly.

I was one of the luckiest boys in my high school. My Dad asked what car I wanted as I was turning 17, the age of Driving in NY if you took Driver's Ed. I was already enrolled at 5 Towns College for private Driver's Ed, as the one offered by my high school was based on age, and I was a younger member of my class. I paid for the private lessons out of lawn mowing money, but Dad, who grew up poor and in the late 70s feeling his financial oats as a successful salesman, went all out.

I wanted a Pontiac Firebird, and Dad bought it. It was $6300, brand new. It was deep red, "Carmine," was the name of the color. It was one of only 3 new cars in my working class high school lot -- one other kid's Dad was a stockbroker, and Chris Keller, who became a pro bowler, had a Dad who owned a big business.

Anyway, I really, really loved that car -- even named her Betsy. I'm not sure why. We moved to South Florida together, and she was my ride all through undergrad. Truth is, Betsy had lots of defects -- mostly electrical. She's fail to start a lot, leaving me stranded. One night, my Dad came to get me in Deerfield Beach, and when no tow operator came, pushed me all the way back to Delray. The following week, Dad's Olds needed a new transmission. Betsy!

I had the Firebird during law school, until... Wifey had moved to North Miami, on account of the fact that I wasn't ready to be "exclusive" with her, and she wanted to get away from, as her friend Linda correctly noted, Dave the creep. Well, we ended up together anyway, and now Wifey lived with her friend Stephanie in a building on a canal on NE 135th Street. 

Stephanie ended up hating me, since she and Wifey had planned to be two single, Mary Tyler Moore types together, or, more accurately Rhoda types, and now Wifey had a boyfriend again. Oh well. Sorry Stephanie.

Anyway, one evening I was driving back to Kendall, and as I crossed Biscayne Blvd on a green light, a young girl tried to beat the red, and we crashed. No one was hurt -- she got the ticket, but my Firebird was pretty well smashed. While it was in the body shop, for a full month, the insurance company provided me with the cheapest car then around: a Dodge Omni.

The Omni was a small box of a car. It was designed to compete with small Toyotas and Mazdas and Hondas. I really liked it.

One night, out in it with Eric, I made a proclamation. No matter how rich I ever got, I would NOT "waste" money on an expensive car. Cars were transport -- as long as they worked, and had AC (a necessity in Miami) and a decent stereo -- that's all anyone needed. I would always be a Dodge Omni, or other cheap car kind of guy. Eric nodded.

Fast forward to 1994. Paul and I started our firm. I was driving a Mitsubishi Diamante -- still one of the best for the money cars I ever had. I was paying $199 per month for it, and felt just great. Paul pointed out, correctly, that I needed to upgrade. We were selling ourselves as big time lawyers, and big time lawyers didn't drive Mitsubishis. So I decided to lease a Jaguar.

Man, I remember that afternoon. I felt like James Bond. I popped in a Grateful Dead CD into the sound system, which was Bose, and was in a magic carpet. I drove home to show Wifey and the Ds, and then right to Eric's house. He was newly returned to Miami from Boston, working as a Doc at Mt. Sinai.

I picked him up, and tossed him the key. He drove. We went up the Palmetto, and Eric put the car though nice paces. When he returned home, he turned to me and said, in perfect Eric sardonic manner "Wow. I really love what they've done to the Dodge Omni."

Bingo! As only a close brother can, he called me on my bullshit. He was completely right.

And so last night, we talked about how the three of us had indeed come a long way. Barry drives a nice Ford -- under his station in life, but he's not into cars much, either. His boy Josh is pushing to get him to upgrade. I don't think he'll be successful.

And I have come full circle -- from the Omni to the Jaguar, and back to , as Lexuses go, a fairly simple one.

As my late mother would have told Eric and Dana about the new Tesla: drive it in GOOD health.